Glow Word Books Blog

Monkey Jokes For Kids

monkey jokes for kids

* What should you bring to a party in the jungle?
– Chimps and dip!

* What did the banana say to the monkey?
– Nothing, bananas can’t talk!

* What do monkeys wear when they are cooking?
– Ape-rons!

* Where should a monkey go when he loses his tail?
– To a retailer!

* What do you call a monkey with a wand?
– Hairy Potter!

* What do you call an angry monkey?
– Furious George!

* What kind of monkey flies?
– A hot air baboon!

* What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
– Anything you want… he can’t hear you!

* What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
– A chipmunk!

* Where do monkeys get their gossip?
– Through the ape vine!

* Where does a baby ape sleep?
– In an apricot!

* Why do gorillas have such big nostrils?
– Because they have big fingers!

Chocolate Jokes For Kids

chocolate jokes for kids

* Why did the doughnut visit the dentist?
– He needed a chocolate filling!

* What do you call stolen cocoa?
– Hot chocolate!

* What fruit loves chocolate?
– A cocoa-nut!

* What did the astronaut say when he stepped on a chocolate bar?
– I just set foot on Mars!

* Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
– He wanted chocolate milk!

* Which chocolate is in the baseball Hall of Fame?
– Babe Ruth!

* What dessert can fly a spaceship?
– A Chocolate Chip Wookiee!

* How can you tell there are chocolate chip cookies in the oven?
– There are M&M shells all over the floor!

Apple Jokes For Kids

apple jokes for kids

* When is an apple grouchy?
– When it’s a crab apple!

* Why did the apple cry?
– It’s peelings were hurt!

* What Apple isn’t an Apple?
– A Pineapple!

* What did the apple skin say to the apple?
– I’ve got you covered

* What reads and lives in apples?
– Bookworms!

* What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
– Finding half a worm!

* How do you make an apple turnover?
– Roll it down hill!

* What is the left side of an apple?
– The part that you don’t eat!

* Why didn’t the worm go to Noah’s ark in an apple?
– Everyone had to go in PAIRS!

Cheese Jokes for Kids

Kids Jokes About Cheese

* What’s a pirate’s favorite cheese?
-Chedd-AAARGH!

* What do you call sad cheese?
– Blue cheese!

* What did the queen say when a man threw cheese at her?
– How dairy!

* What do you call cheese that is acting crazy?
– A basket queso!

* What’s the pope’s favorite cheese?
– Swiss. It’s holy!

Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Cheese!
Cheese Who?
Cheese a jolly good fellow!

* What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
– Nacho Cheese!

* What do witches put on their bagels?
– Scream cheese!

* When should you keep an eye on your cheese?
– When it’s up to no Gouda!

* What cheese is made backwards?
– Edam!

* Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
– It had grater plans!

* What did the cheese say before having its picture taken?
– People!

* Why doesn’t cheddar like to party with crackers?
– Someone always cuts the cheese!

Hamburger & Fry Jokes for Kids

kids jokes about hamburgers

* What do polar bears eat for lunch?
– Ice berg-ers!

* What’s a potato’s motto?
– If at first you don’t succeed, fry, fry again!

* How do you stop someone from stealing your grill?
– With a burger alarm!

* How do you make a hamburger laugh?
– Pickle it!

* What day do potatoes hate the most?
– Fry-day!

* Did you hear about the hamburger patty who told funny jokes?
– He was on a roll!

* Where were the first French Fries made?
– In Greece!

* Why was the cheeseburger sad?
– It had blue cheese!

* What do you call a pig thief?
– A hamburglar!

* What do you call a nice french fry?
– A sweet potato!

Kids Jokes about Birds

kids jokes about birds

* How do flocks of crows stay together?
– Vel-crow!

* How does a penguin build a house?
– Igloos it together!

* Why was the crow on a telephone pole?
– He wanted to make a caw!

* What do you get if you cross a parrot and a shark?
– A bird that talks your ear off!

* Why did the owl say, “Tweet, tweet?”
– He didn’t give a hoot!

* What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?
– A fire-quaker!

* How does a penguin make pancakes?
– With flippers!

* Someone said you sounded like an owl.
– Who?

* Why do pelicans carry fish in their beaks?
– They don’t have any pockets!

* Who’s a penguin’s favorite Aunt?
– Aunt-Arctica!

* What kind of bird doesn’t need a comb?
– A bald eagle.

* What’s an owl’s favorite subject?
– Owl-gebra!

* Where do penguins watch movies?
– At dive-in theatres!

* What do you call a funny chicken?
– A comedi-hen!

Doctor Jokes For Kids

Doctor Jokes for Kids

* What do you give a sick pig?
– Oink-ment!

* Why did the house go to the doctor?
– It had a window pane!

* Doctor, Doctor! How do I stop my nose from running?
– Stick your foot out and trip it!

* What does a dentist call his X-rays?
– Tooth pics!

* When does a doctor get mad?
– When he runs out of patients!

* Why did the bee keeper go to the doctor?
– She had hives!

* Doctor, Doctor! I feel like an apple.
– We’ll get to the core of this!

* Did you hear about the boy who felt like a pony?
– He was just a little hoarse!

* What did the doctor say to the patient after surgery?
– That’s enough out of you!

* What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
– 2:30 (Tooth hurty!)

* What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?
– Let’s dress up! The doctor is taking us out!

* Doctor, Doctor! My son just swallowed a roll of film!
– Let’s hope nothing develops!

* Why didn’t the girl say she ate glue?
– Her lips were sealed!

* What’s white, furry, and shaped like a tooth?
– A molar bear!

* Doctor, Doctor! I think I’m a burglar!
– Have you taken anything for it?

* What do you give a sick bird?
– Tweet-ment!

* Where does a boat go when it’s sick?
– To the dock!

* Why did the book go to the doctor?
– He broke his spine!

* What did the psychologist say to the curtain?
– Pull yourself together!

Cow Jokes For Kids

cow jokes for kids

* What do you call a cow in the back yard?
– A lawn moo-er!

* What do call a cow that just gave birth?
– De-calf-enated!

* What do you call a sleeping bull?
– A bull-dozer!

* Where do Russians get their milk?
– From Mos-cows!

* What do you call a cow with two legs?
– Lean beef!

* Why do cows wear bells?
– Their horns don’t work!

* What do you call a cow you can’t see?
– Ca-moo-flauged!

* What do you get from a pampered cow?
– Spoiled milk!

* Where do cows ride on a train?
– The cow-boose!

* What do you get when you cross a cow and a goat?
– A coat!

* What did the cow say to the farmer?
– You butter milk me soon or I’m going to cream you!

* What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?
– An udder failure!

* What do cows get when they are sick?
– Hay Fever

* What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?
– A Moo-sician!

* How do bulls drive cars?
– They steer them!

* What do you call cows with a sense of humor?
– Laughing stock!

* Where do cows go for entertainment?
– To the moo-vies!

* What do you call a cow with full armor?
– Sir Loin!

* What did the cow say when he heard a moo?
– I was just about to say the same thing!

* What do you call a grumpy cow?
– Moo-dy!

* What did mama cow say to baby cow?
– It’s pasture bedtime!

* What do you call a cow with no legs?
– Ground beef!

* What do cows play at concerts?
– Moo-sic!

* Why don’t cows have money?
– The farmer milks them dry!

* What happened to the lost cattle?
– Nobody’s herd! (Or… the farmer tractor down!)

* What do you call a cow with a twitch?
– Beef Jerky!

* Why was the cow a baker?
– He loved making cow pies.

* What do cows fly to the moon?
– Heli-cow-pters and Bull-oons!

Kids Madlibs: Photo Shoot

Mad Libs! Jumble of pencils
Fill out these questions to generate your own silly mad libs story instantly online! (Hint: a Verb is an action. An adverb usually ends in “ly” and describes an action (like slowly). A noun is a person/place/thing. An adjective describes a person/place/thing.)

Things (plural):

Adjective:

Song Title:

A Celebrity:

Feeling:

Verb:

A Place:

Food:

Things (plural):

Person:


This is a silly online story that will be completed with your words. Please answer the questions below and click the generate button to read the story with your words included!

Body Jokes For Kids

body jokes for kids

* Why shouldn’t you wear a cardboard belt?
– It would be a waist of paper!

* What did the skeleton order for dinner?
– Spare ribs!

* What did the left hand say to the right hand?
– How you can be always right?

* What makes music on your hair?
– A head band!

* What do you call a bear with no ear?
– B!

* Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
– Because it is the scenter!

* When are your eyes not eyes?
– When the wind makes them water!

* What smells the best at dinner?
– Your nose!

* What’s the most musical bone?
– The trom-bone!

* What kind of shoes does a plumber hate?
– Clogs

* What do you call a bear with no teeth?
– A gummy bear!

* What has no fingers, but lots of rings?
– A tree!

* What has a bottom at the top?
– Your legs!

* Do you look in the mirror after washing your face?
– No, you look in a towel!

* Did you pick your nose?
– No, I was born with it!

They’re not technically a body part, but here’s a couple booger jokes as well! (I couldn’t resist!)

* What do you call a skinny booger?
– Slim pickins!

* What’s the difference between boogers and broccoli?
– You can’t eat broccoli!

* What do you find inside a clean nose?
– Fingerprints!