Glow Word Books Blog

Library Jokes For Kids

library jokes for kids

* Why does an elephant use her trunk as a bookmark?
– Then she NOSE where she stopped reading!

* What do planets like to read?
– Comet books.

* Why was the dinosaur afraid to go to the library?
– His books were 65 million years overdue.

* What vegetables do librarians like?
– Quiet peas!

* Where does a librarian sleep?
– Between the covers!

* What building has the most stories?
– The library!

* Where was the librarian when the lights went out?
– In the dark!

* What does a book do in the winter?
– Puts on a book jacket!

* What do librarians take fishing?
– Bookworms!

* Why didn’t the burglar break into the library?
– He was afraid he’d get a long sentence!

* What does the librarian say when she has to leave?
– Time to book!

* Why did people stop going to the library?
– It was all booked!

* Why did the ghost come back to the library every day?
– She went through her books too quickly!

Ancient Egypt Kids Jokes

Ancient Egypt Kids Jokes

* How do brave Egyptians write?
– With Hero-glyphics!

* What did Pharaoh say when he saw the pyramid?
– Mummy’s home!

* Why don’t mummies take vacations?
– They’re afraid to relax and unwind!

* What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
* See-Nile!

* What did King Tut say when he had a nightmare?
– I want my mummy!

* Where do Pharaohs like to eat?
– Pizza Tut!

* Did you hear about the tense mummy?
– He was all wound up!

* Where do mummies go for a swim?
– To the dead sea!

* Why didn’t Cleopatra go to the psychiatrist?
– She was the Queen of Denial!

* Did you hear about the angry mummy?
– He flipped his lid!

* Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
– His daddy was his mummy!

* What music do mummies list to?
– Wrap!

* Which underwear does King Tut wear?
– Fruit of the tomb!

* Do mummies enjoy being mummies?
– Of corpse!

* What does King Tut’s secretary say on the phone?
– The King can’t talk right now. He’s all wrapped up!

* What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
– Any old girl he can dig up!

* What did one pyramid say to the other?
– How’s your mummy!

* What do they say at ancient Egyptian funeral homes?
– Satisfaction guaranteed, or double your mummy back!

* What do you call an Egyptian doctor?
– Cairo-practor.

St. Patrick’s Day Jokes For Kids

St. Patrick's Day Jokes For Kids

* What do you get if you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?
– A rash of good luck!

* What did one Irish ghost say?
– ‘Top o’ the moaning!

* Why can’t you iron a four-leaf clover?
– Because you shouldn’t press your luck!

* What does Ireland have more of than any other country?
– Irishmen!

* Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
– It was too far to walk!

* What is Irish and left on the lawn?
– Paddy O’Furniture!

* Where would you find a leprechaun baseball team?
– In the Little League!

* What do you call a clumsy Irish dance?
– A jig mistake!

* Where can you always find gold?
– In the dictionary!

* What did the leprechaun put in the vending machine?
– A lepre-coin!

* Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patty’s Day?
– Because real rocks are too heavy!

* How did the leprechaun go to the moon?
– In a sham-rocket!

* What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?
– Some poor horse is going barefoot!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Irish Who?
Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Alien Jokes For Kids

alien jokes for kids

* How do you get an alien to sleep?
– Rocket!

* What do you call an alien with three eyes?
– An aliiien!

* What do you call a space ship that drips water?
– A crying saucer!

* Where do aliens go to school?
– Universe-ities!

* What did the alien say to the garden?
– Take me to your weeder!

* What do aliens wear to weddings?
– Space suits!

* What is an alien’s favorite website?
– Space-book!

* What do you say to a two-headed alien?
– Hello! Hello!

* What do aliens like to drink?
– Gravi-tea!

Ocean Jokes For Kids

ocean jokes for kids

* What did the beach say to the wave?
– Long tide, no sea!

* What did Cinderella wear when she swam in the ocean?
– Glass flippers!

* What do you call a lazy crayfish?
– A slobster!

* Why did the octopus cross the road?
– To get to the other tide.

* What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?
– It gets wet.

* What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships!

* What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
– A nervous wreck

* What kind of hair do oceans have?
– Wavy!

– What did the magician say to the fisherman?
– Pick a cod, any cod!

* What’s the most popular TV show in the ocean?
– Whale of fortune!

* What did one wave say to the other wave?
– Nothing. It waved!

* How do you make an octopus laugh?
– With TEN-tickles!

* Why did the lobster blush?
– Because the sea weed!

* What did one tide pool say to the other tide pool?
– Show me your mussels.

Jokes for Kids about Horses

horse jokes for kids

* What did the horse say when it fell?
– I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!

* What do you give a sick horse?
– Cough stirrup.

* Which horses only go out at night?
– Nightmares!

* What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
– A little hoarse.

* What sickness do horses hate the most?
– Hay fever!

* What does it mean if you found a horseshoe?
– A horse is walking around in his socks!

* Which side of the horse has the most hair?
– The outside!

* How long are a horse’s legs?
– Long enough to reach the ground!

* What do you call a horse that lives next door?
– A NEIGH-bour.

* When does a horse talk?
– Whinny wants to!

* Why did the horse cross the road?
– Somebody shouted hay!

* Why do people ride horses?
– Because they’re too heavy to carry!

Teacher Jokes For Kids

teacher jokes for kids

* What happened to the math teacher’s plant?
– It grew square roots!

* What happened to the teacher who took the school bus home?
– The police made her bring it back!

* What’s the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
– Getting lost!

* Did you hear about the teach who took attendance?
– He was ABSENT-minded.

* Why did the children eat their homework?
– The teacher said it was a piece of cake.

* Why did the snake get a detention?
– He was HISSpering!

* Why did the teacher write on the window?
– She wanted the lesson to be clear!

* What meals do math teachers eat?
– Square meals!

* What tests do witch teachers give?
– HEX-aminations

* Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
– In the piano!

* What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?
– Summer!

Short Kids Poem: Vegetables & Pets

kids poems vegetables and pets

My bison won’t eat broccoli.
My panther won’t eat peas.
My mice will not eat mushrooms.
It’s only cheese they please.

I’ve tried to feed my cow
a healthy dose of kale,
but she just turns her nose
and flicks it with her tail.

I wish they’d even eat a bite!
I think that would be great
since I cannot get up to play
until I clear my plate.

Short Kids Poem: The Moon

short kids poem moon

I’m waiting for a rocket ship
to take me to the moon.
My best friend has been building one.
He’ll pick me up by noon.

First we’re going to skip moon rocks
across the milky way.
And then we’ll ask some aliens
to dance the Moon Ballet.

I think we’ll do some fishing
for comets passing by.
We likely won’t catch any,
but it’s still fun to try.

It always takes my breath away
to see Earth from on the air.
But soon I’ll have to come back home—
There are no bathrooms there.

Snowmen Jokes For Kids

snowman jokes for kids

* What did one snowman say to the other?
– Do you smell carrots?

* What’s white and goes up?
– A confused snowflake!

*What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
– Freeze a jolly good fellow!

* How was the snow globe feeling?
– A little shaken!

* Where do snowmen keep their money?
– In a snow bank.

* What falls at the North Pole, but never gets hurt?
– Snow!

* What’s a snowman’s favorite lunch?
– Ice bergers!

* How do you scare a snowman?
– With a hairdryer!

* Where do snowmen dance?
– The snow ball!

* What do you call an old snowman?
– Water!