Glow Word Books Blog

Dinosaur Jokes For Kids

dinosaur jokes for kids

* What are dinosaurs floors made out of?
– Rep-tiles!

* Which dinosaur always crashed his car?
– Tyrannosaurus wrecks!

* Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
– The ‘p’ is silent!

* What does a triceratops sit on?
– Its tricera-bottom!

* What makes more noise than a dinosaur?
– Two dinosaurs!

* What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
– Doyouthinkhesaraus!

* What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
– A dino-snore or a Stego-snorus!

* What did dinosaurs have that no other animal had?
– Baby dinosaurs!

* What did the dinosaur say after she walked into a boulder?
– I’m-so-saurus!

* What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
– Jurassic Pork!

* Who did dinosaurs call for help?
– Tricera-cops!

* How do you know if there’s a dinosaur under your bed?
– Your nose bumps the ceiling!

* What’s as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing?
– His shadow!

* What came after the dinosaur?
– Its tail!

Chicken Jokes For Kids

chicken jokes for kids

In honor of “Do The Chicken Dance Day” (May 14), we have posted some bad yolks about chickens…

* What did the chicken do when the traffic light turned green?
– Egg-celerated!

* How do chickens wake up in the morning?
– With an alarm cluck!

* How do chickens get away in a hurry?
– They scramble away!

* Why did the chicken cross the playground?
– To get to the other slide!

* What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cow?
– Roost beef!

* Why do hens lay eggs?
– If they dropped them, they’d break!

* Why did the chicken join the band?
– She had the drumsticks!

* Why did the rooster cross the road?
– To cock-a-doodle do something!

* What happened when the chicken ate gun powder?
– She eggs-ploded!

* What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
– Foul weather!

* What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
– An egg-roll!

* Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
– Because talk is cheep!

Superhero Jokes For Kids

superhero jokes for kids

* What’s the difference between Batman and a robber?
– Batman can go into a store without robin!

* What does Spiderman do for a living?
– He’s a web designer!

* What is a superhero’s favorite drink?
– Fruit punch!

* When does Poison Ivy change her underwear?
– When they are soiled!

* What is it called when Iron Man does a cart wheel?
– A Ferrous Wheel!

* What is Spider-Man’s favorite month?
– Web-ruary!

* What do you get if you cross the man of steel with veggie broth?
– SOUPerman!

* What is a villain’s favorite part of the joke?
– The punch line!

* What superhero uses public transportation?
– BUS Lightyear!

* What would you find in Superman’s bathroom?
– A Superbowl!

* Why doesn’t Superman have many friends?
– He wears his underwear over his pants!

* Why did Bruce’s date go badly?
– He has BAT breath!

* What does a superhero put in their drink?
– Just ice!

* Why couldn’t Batman go fishing?
– Robin ate all the worms!

Art Jokes for Kids

art jokes for kids

* What did the artist draw before he went to bed?
– The curtains!

* Why did the paintbrush see a doctor?
– It had a stroke!

* What does a momma color wheel say to a baby color wheel?
– Don’t use that tone with me.

* What’s green and smells like blue paint?
– Green paint!

* Why was the artist afraid he might go to jail?
– Because he’d been framed!

* How do you inspire an artist?
– Easel-y

* What does Salvador Dali have for breakfast?
– A bowl of surreal!

* What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
– A carrot!

* Did you hear about the artist that always took things too far?
– She didn’t know where to draw the line.

* Which animals are famous painters?
– Pablo Pig-caso and Vincent van Goat!

Birthday Jokes For Kids

Birthday Jokes For Kids

* What is the left side of a birthday cake?
– The side that’s not eaten!

* What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow?
– A birthday pheasant!

* Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor?
– It was feeling crumby!

* Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?
– In a cat-alogue!

* What does every happy birthday end with?
– The letter Y.

* Why did the boy hit his birthday cake with a hammer?
– It was pound cake!

* What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday?
– Thanks. I’ll never part with it!

* What does a clam do on his birthday?
– He shell-abrates!

* What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
– Angel food cake!

* What do you get every birthday?
– Another year older!

* What did the Teddy Bear say after blowing out his birthday candles?
– No cake for me… I’m stuffed!

* How can you tell if an elephant’s been to your birthday party?
– He left footprints in the ice cream!

* Does a green candle burn longer than a yellow one?
– No, they both burn shorter!

* What birthday cake is as hard as a rock?
– A marble cake!

* Why didn’t the caveman send birthday cards?
– The stamps kept falling off his rocks!

* Why do we put candles on top of birthday cakes?
– It’s too hard to put them on the bottom!

Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Wanda!
Wanda who?
Wanda wish you a happy birthday!

Online Kids Madlibs: Pizza Party

Mad Libs! Jumble of pencils
Fill out these questions to generate your own silly mad libs story instantly online! (Hint: a Verb is an action. An adverb usually ends in “ly” and describes an action (like slowly). A noun is a person/place/thing. An adjective describes a person/place/thing.)

Things (plural):

Adjective:

Song Title:

A Celebrity:

Feeling:

Verb:

A Place:

Food:

Things (plural):

Person:


This is a silly online story that will be completed with your words. Please answer the questions below and click the generate button to read the story with your words included!

Spring Jokes for Kids

spring jokes for kids

* When do monkeys fall from the sky?
– During APE-ril showers!

* If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
– Pilgrims!

* What’s a baby chick’s favorite plant?
– EGG-plants!

* What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
– FOUL weather!

* When do people use trampolines?
– Spring time!

* What do you get when you plant kisses?
– Tulips!

* Why is everyone so tired on April 1?
– They just finished a 31 day March!

* What goes up when the rain comes down?
– An umbrella!

* What bow can’t be tied?
– A rainbow!

* What letter is like a spring flower?
– The letter A because a bee comes after it.

* Can February March?
– No, but April May!

* What falls but never gets hurt?
– The rain!

Library Jokes For Kids

library jokes for kids

* Why does an elephant use her trunk as a bookmark?
– Then she NOSE where she stopped reading!

* What do planets like to read?
– Comet books.

* Why was the dinosaur afraid to go to the library?
– His books were 65 million years overdue.

* What vegetables do librarians like?
– Quiet peas!

* Where does a librarian sleep?
– Between the covers!

* What building has the most stories?
– The library!

* Where was the librarian when the lights went out?
– In the dark!

* What does a book do in the winter?
– Puts on a book jacket!

* What do librarians take fishing?
– Bookworms!

* Why didn’t the burglar break into the library?
– He was afraid he’d get a long sentence!

* What does the librarian say when she has to leave?
– Time to book!

* Why did people stop going to the library?
– It was all booked!

* Why did the ghost come back to the library every day?
– She went through her books too quickly!

Ancient Egypt Kids Jokes

Ancient Egypt Kids Jokes

* How do brave Egyptians write?
– With Hero-glyphics!

* What did Pharaoh say when he saw the pyramid?
– Mummy’s home!

* Why don’t mummies take vacations?
– They’re afraid to relax and unwind!

* What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
* See-Nile!

* What did King Tut say when he had a nightmare?
– I want my mummy!

* Where do Pharaohs like to eat?
– Pizza Tut!

* Did you hear about the tense mummy?
– He was all wound up!

* Where do mummies go for a swim?
– To the dead sea!

* Why didn’t Cleopatra go to the psychiatrist?
– She was the Queen of Denial!

* Did you hear about the angry mummy?
– He flipped his lid!

* Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
– His daddy was his mummy!

* What music do mummies list to?
– Wrap!

* Which underwear does King Tut wear?
– Fruit of the tomb!

* Do mummies enjoy being mummies?
– Of corpse!

* What does King Tut’s secretary say on the phone?
– The King can’t talk right now. He’s all wrapped up!

* What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
– Any old girl he can dig up!

* What did one pyramid say to the other?
– How’s your mummy!

* What do they say at ancient Egyptian funeral homes?
– Satisfaction guaranteed, or double your mummy back!

* What do you call an Egyptian doctor?
– Cairo-practor.

St. Patrick’s Day Jokes For Kids

St. Patrick's Day Jokes For Kids

* What do you get if you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?
– A rash of good luck!

* What did one Irish ghost say?
– ‘Top o’ the moaning!

* Why can’t you iron a four-leaf clover?
– Because you shouldn’t press your luck!

* What does Ireland have more of than any other country?
– Irishmen!

* Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
– It was too far to walk!

* What is Irish and left on the lawn?
– Paddy O’Furniture!

* Where would you find a leprechaun baseball team?
– In the Little League!

* What do you call a clumsy Irish dance?
– A jig mistake!

* Where can you always find gold?
– In the dictionary!

* What did the leprechaun put in the vending machine?
– A lepre-coin!

* Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patty’s Day?
– Because real rocks are too heavy!

* How did the leprechaun go to the moon?
– In a sham-rocket!

* What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?
– Some poor horse is going barefoot!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Irish!
Irish Who?
Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day!