* What do you get if you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?
– A rash of good luck!
* What did one Irish ghost say?
– ‘Top o’ the moaning!
* Why can’t you iron a four-leaf clover?
– Because you shouldn’t press your luck!
* What does Ireland have more of than any other country?
* Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
– It was too far to walk!
* What is Irish and left on the lawn?
– Paddy O’Furniture!
* Where would you find a leprechaun baseball team?
– In the Little League!
* What do you call a clumsy Irish dance?
– A jig mistake!
* Where can you always find gold?
– In the dictionary!
* What did the leprechaun put in the vending machine?
– A lepre-coin!
* Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patty’s Day?
– Because real rocks are too heavy!
* How did the leprechaun go to the moon?
– In a sham-rocket!
* What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?
– Some poor horse is going barefoot!
Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day!