Pirate Jokes for Kids

Pirate Jokes For Kids

* What did the pirate say when his wooden leg froze?
– Shiver me timbers!

* What was the pirate’s girlfriend called?
– Peggy!

* Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
– They spend years at C!

* When does a pirate get a new ship?
– When it’s on sail!

* How much did the pirate pay for earrings?
– A buccaneer!

* Why was the pirate good at basketball?
– He had a great hook shot!

* Why couldn’t the pirates play cards?
– The were standing on the deck!

* What did the sea say to the Pirate Captain?
– Nothing. It waved!

* How much did the pirate pay for his hook and peg leg?
– An arm and a leg!

* Why are pirates called pirates?
– They just arrrrrgh!

Clothing Jokes for Kids

clothing jokes for kids

* Why shouldn’t you wear a cardboard belt?
– It’s a waist of paper!

* What’s the biggest problem with snow boots?
– They melt!

* What did one hat say to the other?
– You stay here. I’ll go on ahead!

* How do you warm up a room while you’re painting?
– Give it a second coat!

* What did the house wear?
– Address!

* Why shouldn’t you wear a cardboard belt?
– It’s a waist of paper!

* What kind of jacket does an octopus wear?
– An Army Jacket!

* Why did the golfer have an extra pair of pants?
– In case he got a hole in one!

Bug Jokes For Kids

Bug Jokes For Kids

* How do fleas travel?
– By itch-hiking!

* What do you call a wasp?
– A wanna-bee!

* Why did the queen bee go to the doctor?
– She had hives!

* What is the greasiest bug?
– A butter-fly!

* What green bug jumps over cups?
– A glasshopper!

* Why did the bee cry?
– He missed his honey.

* What is the biggest ant in the world?
– An eleph-ant!

– What’s a moth’s favorite class at school?
– Moth-matics!

* How do bees brush their hair?
– With honey comb!

* Where do butterflies like to dance?
– Moth balls!

* Where do sick bees go?
– The wasp-ital!

* How do you know if a fly is an actor?
– He’s on the screen!

* What bugs live in clocks?
– Ticks!

Strawberry Jokes for Kids

Strawberry Jokes For Kids

* What’s a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
– Straw-berries!

* Why were the strawberries late?
– They were trapped in a jam!

* What is red and goes up and down?
– A strawberry in an elevator!

* What do you call a sad strawberry?
– A blueberry.

* How do you make a Strawberry shake?
– Put it into the freezer until it shivers!

* What dessert does a turkey like?
– Strawberry gobbler!

Zoo Jokes for Kids

zoo jokes for kids

* Why couldn’t anyone call the zoo?
– All the phone lions were busy!

* What did the buffalo say to his kid when he went to work?
– Bi-son!

* What did one toad say to the other?
Wart’s new?

* Why wasn’t the octopus at the zoo?
– He joined the ARMY!

* What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie?
– A pie-thon!

* What do you call a crying Camel?
– A humpback wail!

* What are zoo’s floors made of?
– Rep-tiles!

* Where do sheep get their hair cut?
– At the baa baa shop!

* Where do kangaroos like to eat?
– At ihop!

* How can you trick a sheep?
– Pull the wool over his eyes!

* What happened when the owl lost his voice?
He didn’t give a hoot!

* Where do cows go for lunch?
– The calf-eteria!

If you are looking for animal jokes, I also have collections of bird jokes, cat jokes, chicken jokes, cow jokes, fish jokes, horse jokes, monkey jokes, and poodle jokes.

Storm, Rain, Weather Jokes for Kids!

weather storm jokes for kids

* What is a king’s favorite weather?
– Hail!

* What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
– Thunderwear!

* Why did the woman open her purse in the park?
– She expected some change in the weather.

* What’s a tornado’s favorite game?
– Twister!

* Why did the hurricane wear a monocle?
– It only had one eye!

* How does the rain tie its shoes?
– With a rainbow!

* What did one raindrop say to the other?
– Two’s company. Three’s a cloud!

* What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
– You might step in a poodle!

* What goes up when the rain comes down?
– An umbrella!

* Why was the lightning bolt in the news?
– Are you sure you want to know… it’s shocking!

* What is the opposite of a cold front?
– A warm back!

* What did the tornado say to the washing machine?
– Want to go for a spin?

* Why should you avoid tornado chasers?
– They’re always passing wind.

* Why shouldn’t you fight with a cloud?
– He’ll storm out on you!

Monkey Jokes For Kids

monkey jokes for kids

* What should you bring to a party in the jungle?
– Chimps and dip!

* What did the banana say to the monkey?
– Nothing, bananas can’t talk!

* What do monkeys wear when they are cooking?
– Ape-rons!

* Where should a monkey go when he loses his tail?
– To a retailer!

* What do you call a monkey with a wand?
– Hairy Potter!

* What do you call an angry monkey?
– Furious George!

* What kind of monkey flies?
– A hot air baboon!

* What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
– Anything you want… he can’t hear you!

* What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
– A chipmunk!

* Where do monkeys get their gossip?
– Through the ape vine!

* Where does a baby ape sleep?
– In an apricot!

* Why do gorillas have such big nostrils?
– Because they have big fingers!