About Author Steve Hanson

Steve Hanson is the author of The Dax and Zippa Series, Monsters Midnight Feast, Wizards In The West, Butterflies Don't Chew Bubblegum and The Whens. View his Profile.

Short Kids Poem: Unicorn

short kids poem donkey unicorn

You may have a stable
with two unicorns,
but I have a donkey
with a dozen horns.

The first one casts a rainbow
straight into the sky.
The next one provides lift
that lets my donkey fly.

Three play like a flute
and one’s invisible.
Another is a gauge
to tell him when he’s full.

The gold one’s decorative.
The silver one’s a straw.
One horn can hold paper
while others learn to draw.

One horn lets him breath
while swimming in the sea.
The last two always fight.
Why can’t those horns agree!



Enjoy this poem?

Check out my book My Sister Steals My Toys. It contains 109 other funny poems I wrote.

Back To School Jokes For Kids

more kids school jokes

* How do bees get to school?
– The school buzz!

* Why did the broom get poor grades in school?
– It was always sweeping during class!

* What do you get when you cross a teacher with a lion?
– I don’t know, but you better behave!

* What did you learn in school today?
– Not enough… I have to go back tomorrow!

* What’s a snake’s favorite subject?
– HISStory!

* What’s a pirate’s favorite subject?
– Arrrrrrt!

* Why was school easier for cave people?
– There was no history to study!

* What kind of teacher passes gas?
– A tutor!

* Why did the student bring scissors to class?
– He wanted to cut class!

Teacher: Where are the Great Plains located?
Student: At the great airports!

Teacher: A man left San Fransisco driving 200 mph and a woman left New York City driving 300 mph. Where did they meet?
Student: In jail!

Short Kids Poem: Queen

short kids queen poem

Our school had a problem:
the principal was mean
so I wrote a letter
to the dear old Queen.

She wanted a new job.
She claimed that she was bored.
So she kicked him out
and took over our ward.

We all are royal slaves
who’ve sworn to study hard
and never pick a fight
when on the school yard.

Our school is more grand.
Our school’s much more chic.
At lunch we have banquets
with jubilees each week.

The Queen is very nice.
She lets us wear her crown
and she decrees “recess”
whenever there’s a frown.



Enjoy this poem?

Check out my book My Sister Steals My Toys. It contains 109 other funny poems I wrote.

Short Kids Poem: Trees

short kids poem tree store

There aren’t enough convenience stores
perched up in a tree.
That would be the absolutely
perfect store for me.

I cannot bike. I cannot drive.
I rarely leave our yard,
But climbing our big maple tree
isn’t very hard.

Then I could buy candy
whenever I want it
(And since I don’t have money,
of course they’d accept spit.)



Enjoy this poem?

Check out my book My Sister Steals My Toys. It contains 109 other funny poems I wrote.

Circus Jokes For Kids

kids circus jokes

* Did you hear about the girl who ran away with the circus?
– The police made her bring it back!

* Why did the clown eat his dollar bill?
– It was his lunch money.

* What happened when the magician got mad?
– He pulled out his hare!

* Why is it hard to hire a clown?
– They have big shoes to fill.

* What happened when the lion ate the clown?
– He felt funny!

* What’s pink and stuck between an elephant’s toes?
– Slow Clowns.

* What happened when a clown died?
– All his friends came to the funeral in one car.

* Did you hear about the human cannonball?
– He got fired!

Short Kids Poem: Summer

short kids poem summer

I want to get ahead.
I hate to be behind.
In summer I do chores
so fall I can unwind.

Today I raked the leaves.
It’s easy when there’s less.
Then I shoveled snow
in my summer dress.

I hung the Christmas lights
then put them all away.
I kept emptying the trash.
I don’t like to delay.

I cleaned the sink twelve times.
(There wasn’t any grime).
I’ve finished all my chores….
until next summertime!



Enjoy this poem?

Check out my book My Sister Steals My Toys. It contains 109 other funny poems I wrote.

Ice Cream Jokes For Kids

kids ice cream jokes

* How do you make a dinosaur float?
– Put two scoops of ice cream on him!

* What do you get from an Alaskan cow?
– Ice Cream

* What’s the best way to stuff a Thanksgiving turkey?
– Take him out for ice cream!

* How do mathematicians eat ice cream?
– In a CONE.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Ice Cream.
Ice Cream who?
Ice Cream if you don’t open the door soon.

Bert: Do you want any ice cream, Ernie?
Ernie: Sherbert.