About Author Steve Hanson

Steve Hanson is the author of The Dax and Zippa Series, Monsters Midnight Feast, Wizards In The West, Butterflies Don't Chew Bubblegum and The Whens. View his Profile.

Online Kids Madlibs: Santa

Mad Libs! Jumble of pencils
Fill out these questions to generate your own silly mad libs story instantly online! (Hint: a Verb is an action. An adverb usually ends in “ly” and describes an action (like slowly). A noun is a person/place/thing. An adjective describes a person/place/thing.)

Thing:

Animals (plural):

Adjective:

Clothes:

Food or Drinks (plural):

Place:

Foods (plural):

Color:

Phrase, Saying or Lyrics:

Toys (plural):


This is a silly online story that will be completed with your words. Please answer the questions below and click the generate button to read the story with your words included!

Short Kids Poem: Pet Store

kids poem pet elephant

I’m Danny Frankenbalm.
My store’s called “Unique Pet”.
I’ve a couple animals
I’m sure you’ve never met

I have a chicken-horse
whose beak is by its tail.
And checkered elephants
with feathers like a quail.

I also sell square snakes
that have a bright blue horn
They’re easy to care for
because they just eat corn.

My cats are camouflaged
to look like a car wheel
But careful with their tails:
they’re actually an eel.



Enjoy this poem?

Check out my book My Sister Steals My Toys. It contains 109 other funny poems I wrote.

How to Make Sugar Cookie Envelopes

Sugar Cookie Envelopes

If you just read Dax and Zippa’s Great Mail Mix-Up, you probably want to make envelope sugar cookies, just like the Zickerton Bakery!

Most families already have their favorite sugar cookie recipe. But if you don’t, you can either buy pre-made dough or use our recipe. Skip to “Making the Cookies” if you already have a recipe.

Sugar Cookie Recipe

1/2 cup Butter (100 grams)
1/2 cup Sugar
1 Egg
1 1/4 cups Flour
1/4 teaspoon Baking Soda
1/4 teaspoon Nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon Cream of Tartar
1/4 teaspoon Salt
1/2 teaspoon Vanilla

Mix dough. Bake at 350F (180C) degrees for 6-8 minutes.

Making the Cookies

Start by washing your hands. Trust me, you’ll want to.

Prepare the sugar cookie dough according to your recipe and heat up the oven.

Form the dough into rectangle cookies instead of making circular ones. I like cookies that are twice as long as they are tall. You can roll the dough out and use a rectangle cookie cutter, but it’s just as fun to form the dough with your hands. I put a big spoon of dough on the cookie sheet and then squish it into a rectangle with my hands. (I told you you’d want clean hands!) Just make sure the cookies are all the same thickness because that helps them cook better.

Bake the cookies according to the recipe and let them cool. This is a good time to trick your brother or sister into doing the dishes.

Decorating the Cookies

Prepare the frosting. If you don’t have a good frosting recipe, don’t worry because it’s easy to make frosting with powdered sugar.

1. Put one cup of Powdered Sugar in a bowl.
2. Add water VERY slowly. (I mean very slowly. I usually turn the kitchen faucet on so it is dripping and then hold the bowl under the faucet).
3. As you add water, keep stirring until you have a nice, thick frosting. If the frosting is too thick you won’t be able to squeeze it. If it’s too thin you can always add more powdered sugar to make it thicker.

Add color to the frosting (optional). If you want colored frosting, add a few drops of food coloring and stir it in. Just be careful since food coloring can stain your clothes. Dax’s favorite color is blue, but any color will work.

Put the frosting in a zip-lock bag with a spoon. Squeeze any air out of the bag and zip it back up.

Cut a tiny corner off the bottom of the bag. You’ll be squeezing frosting out of this hole. The smaller you make it, the more precise you can draw with your frosting.

Decorate the cookies. This is where you can let your creativity shine! There’s no right or wrong way to draw an envelope so feel free to try anything. Squeeze the frosting out of the bag onto the cookies.

There are two basic envelope designs you can follow. The first is to make the back of the envelope. Squeeze frosting in a big rectangle around the edge of the cookie. Then draw a triangle for the flap of the envelope.

You can also decorate the cookies like the front of an envelope. The middle of the envelope is where you write the name of the person you are mailing it to. In the middle of your cookie, write someone’s name or make squiggly lines that look like writing. In the upper right corner, design your own stamp. Stamps are often square, but you can make any designs you want.

Hope you enjoy!

Online Madlibs: Shopping

Mad Libs! Jumble of pencils
Fill out these questions to generate your own silly mad libs story instantly online! (Hint: a Verb is an action. An adverb usually ends in “ly” and describes an action (like slowly). A noun is a person/place/thing. An adjective describes a person/place/thing.)

Person:

Adjective:

Number:

Adverb:

Place:

Verb:

Things (plural):

Animal:

An Emotion:

Things (plural):


This is a silly online story that will be completed with your words. Please answer the questions below and click the generate button to read the story with your words included!

Kids Poem: My Sister Stole My Stuff

kids poem snowing
I had to wear a muffin cup
as my winter hat.
My sister hid my outdoor clothes.
She is such a brat.

I’ve got owl puppets on my hands
and towels as a coat.
Then there’s the stuffed animal
snake around my throat.

My sister’s mean beyond a doubt!
Wouldn’t you agree?
I can’t believe she’ll keep them all…
’til I return her ski.



Enjoy this poem?

Check out my book My Sister Steals My Toys. It contains 109 other funny poems I wrote.

Writing Takes A Family

writing

Most people think that writing is solitary activity, but I disagree. It’s true I mostly write while I’m alone, but it takes my whole family working together in order to get those precious minutes to write.

You need an understanding spouse because writing takes a ton of time.  There have been so many nights or weekends that either my wife or I played babysitter so the other one could finish up a project.  It’s really important to have an understanding partner who can give you that extra time.  (Thanks honey!)

Publishing takes money.  Sure it’s free to print eBooks and we certainly don’t spend much on pens and paper.  However, when you’re competing for reader’s attention with Harry Potter, it’s important to have a professionally edited book and attractive cover.  Since I spell about as well as a rhino can paraglide, that means we need to hire an editor.

Writing requires understanding friends.  I used to see friends every other night.  We went out to eat, to movies, mini-golfing, etc… now we’re lucky to see two or three friends a month.  A new baby contributed a lot to that change, but writing also affected free time.  My wife and I have given up most of our other hobbies (and TV) to make room for writing.

You need to involve everyone.  Since my wife and I spend so much of our energy writing, we think it’s important to involve the whole family the writing process.  We talk about our plots over dinner and what projects we want to work on next.  Since we’re diverting time away from people, it’s nice to let them know why.  If they’re involved in the creative world, they’ll hopefully understand why you need extra time to polish a draft.

Writing is fun, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. We write because we love writing… that’s about all there is to it. Thankfully, the world has never been better for story tellers.  With the print on demand revolution and emergence of eBooks, now is the perfect time to tell your story.  So pick up your pen.  Hug your spouse and start writing.

Online Kids Madlibs: Cooking Food

Mad Libs! Jumble of pencils
Fill out these questions to generate your own silly mad libs story instantly online! (Hint: a Verb is an action. An adverb usually ends in “ly” and describes an action (like slowly). A noun is a person/place/thing. An adjective describes a person/place/thing.)

Things (plural):

Adjective:

Food:

Color:

Adjective:

Phrase:

Things (plural):

Person:

Number:

Place:


This is a silly online story that will be completed with your words. Please answer the questions below and click the generate button to read the story with your words included!

Kids Poem: I’m Going to Be Famous

kids poem world peace

I’m going to be famous!
I’m going to be great!
For every award
I’m the best candidate.

I’ve got an idea
to solve world peace.
I know how to force
every famine to cease.

I’ll power our town
with four sweaty socks
Or make a vaccine
for every pox.

I’ll reduce the garbage
in landfills by nine.
Wherever you’re shopping,
there won’t be a line.

I’d love to complete
all of this before bed
But Mom wants my room
to be cleaned up instead!



Enjoy this poem?

Check out my book My Sister Steals My Toys. It contains 109 other funny poems I wrote.