* What do polar bears eat for lunch?
– Ice berg-ers!

* What’s a potato’s motto?
– If at first you don’t succeed, fry, fry again!

* How do you stop someone from stealing your grill?
– With a burger alarm!

* How do you make a hamburger laugh?
– Pickle it!

* What day do potatoes hate the most?
– Fry-day!

* Did you hear about the hamburger patty who told funny jokes?
– He was on a roll!

* Where were the first French Fries made?
– In Greece!

* Why was the cheeseburger sad?
– It had blue cheese!

* What do you call a pig thief?
– A hamburglar!

* What do you call a nice french fry?
– A sweet potato!

* How do flocks of crows stay together?
– Vel-crow!

* How does a penguin build a house?
– Igloos it together!

* Why was the crow on a telephone pole?
– He wanted to make a caw!

* What do you get if you cross a parrot and a shark?
– A bird that talks your ear off!

* Why did the owl say, “Tweet, tweet?”
– He didn’t give a hoot!

* What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?
– A fire-quaker!

* How does a penguin make pancakes?
– With flippers!

* Someone said you sounded like an owl.
– Who?

* Why do pelicans carry fish in their beaks?
– They don’t have any pockets!

* Who’s a penguin’s favorite Aunt?
– Aunt-Arctica!

* What kind of bird doesn’t need a comb?
– A bald eagle.

* What’s an owl’s favorite subject?
– Owl-gebra!

* Where do penguins watch movies?
– At dive-in theatres!

* What do you call a funny chicken?
– A comedi-hen!

* What do you give a sick pig?
– Oink-ment!

* Why did the house go to the doctor?
– It had a window pane!

* Doctor, Doctor! How do I stop my nose from running?
– Stick your foot out and trip it!

* What does a dentist call his X-rays?
– Tooth pics!

* When does a doctor get mad?
– When he runs out of patients!

* Why did the bee keeper go to the doctor?
– She had hives!

* Doctor, Doctor! I feel like an apple.
– We’ll get to the core of this!

* Did you hear about the boy who felt like a pony?
– He was just a little hoarse!

* What did the doctor say to the patient after surgery?
– That’s enough out of you!

* What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
– 2:30 (Tooth hurty!)

* What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?
– Let’s dress up! The doctor is taking us out!

* Doctor, Doctor! My son just swallowed a roll of film!
– Let’s hope nothing develops!

* Why didn’t the girl say she ate glue?
– Her lips were sealed!

* What’s white, furry, and shaped like a tooth?
– A molar bear!

* Doctor, Doctor! I think I’m a burglar!
– Have you taken anything for it?

* What do you give a sick bird?
– Tweet-ment!

* Where does a boat go when it’s sick?
– To the dock!

* Why did the book go to the doctor?
– He broke his spine!

* What did the psychologist say to the curtain?
– Pull yourself together!

* What do you call a cow in the back yard?
– A lawn moo-er!

* What do call a cow that just gave birth?
– De-calf-enated!

* What do you call a sleeping bull?
– A bull-dozer!

* Where do Russians get their milk?
– From Mos-cows!

* What do you call a cow with two legs?
– Lean beef!

* Why do cows wear bells?
– Their horns don’t work!

* What do you call a cow you can’t see?
– Ca-moo-flauged!

* What do you get from a pampered cow?
– Spoiled milk!

* Where do cows ride on a train?
– The cow-boose!

* What do you get when you cross a cow and a goat?
– A coat!

* What did the cow say to the farmer?
– You butter milk me soon or I’m going to cream you!

* What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?
– An udder failure!

* What do cows get when they are sick?
– Hay Fever

* What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?
– A Moo-sician!

* How do bulls drive cars?
– They steer them!

* What do you call cows with a sense of humor?
– Laughing stock!

* Where do cows go for entertainment?
– To the moo-vies!

* What do you call a cow with full armor?
– Sir Loin!

* What did the cow say when he heard a moo?
– I was just about to say the same thing!

* What do you call a grumpy cow?
– Moo-dy!

* What did mama cow say to baby cow?
– It’s pasture bedtime!

* What do you call a cow with no legs?
– Ground beef!

* What do cows play at concerts?
– Moo-sic!

* Why don’t cows have money?
– The farmer milks them dry!

* What happened to the lost cattle?
– Nobody’s herd! (Or… the farmer tractor down!)

* What do you call a cow with a twitch?
– Beef Jerky!

* Why was the cow a baker?
– He loved making cow pies.

* What do cows fly to the moon?
– Heli-cow-pters and Bull-oons!

* Why shouldn’t you wear a cardboard belt?
– It would be a waist of paper!

* What did the skeleton order for dinner?
– Spare ribs!

* What did the left hand say to the right hand?
– How you can be always right?

* What makes music on your hair?
– A head band!

* What do you call a bear with no ear?
– B!

* Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
– Because it is the scenter!

* When are your eyes not eyes?
– When the wind makes them water!

* What smells the best at dinner?
– Your nose!

* What’s the most musical bone?
– The trom-bone!

* What kind of shoes does a plumber hate?
– Clogs

* What do you call a bear with no teeth?
– A gummy bear!

* What has no fingers, but lots of rings?
– A tree!

* What has a bottom at the top?
– Your legs!

* Do you look in the mirror after washing your face?
– No, you look in a towel!

* Did you pick your nose?
– No, I was born with it!

They’re not technically a body part, but here’s a couple booger jokes as well! (I couldn’t resist!)

* What do you call a skinny booger?
– Slim pickins!

* What’s the difference between boogers and broccoli?
– You can’t eat broccoli!

* What do you find inside a clean nose?
– Fingerprints!

* What are dinosaurs floors made out of?
– Rep-tiles!

* Which dinosaur always crashed his car?
– Tyrannosaurus wrecks!

* Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
– The ‘p’ is silent!

* What does a triceratops sit on?
– Its tricera-bottom!

* What makes more noise than a dinosaur?
– Two dinosaurs!

* What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
– Doyouthinkhesaraus!

* What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
– A dino-snore or a Stego-snorus!

* What did dinosaurs have that no other animal had?
– Baby dinosaurs!

* What did the dinosaur say after she walked into a boulder?
– I’m-so-saurus!

* What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
– Jurassic Pork!

* Who did dinosaurs call for help?
– Tricera-cops!

* How do you know if there’s a dinosaur under your bed?
– Your nose bumps the ceiling!

* What’s as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing?
– His shadow!

* What came after the dinosaur?
– Its tail!

In honor of “Do The Chicken Dance Day” (May 14), we have posted some bad yolks about chickens…

* What did the chicken do when the traffic light turned green?
– Egg-celerated!

* How do chickens wake up in the morning?
– With an alarm cluck!

* How do chickens get away in a hurry?
– They scramble away!

* Why did the chicken cross the playground?
– To get to the other slide!

* What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cow?
– Roost beef!

* Why do hens lay eggs?
– If they dropped them, they’d break!

* Why did the chicken join the band?
– She had the drumsticks!

* Why did the rooster cross the road?
– To cock-a-doodle do something!

* What happened when the chicken ate gun powder?
– She eggs-ploded!

* What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
– Foul weather!

* What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
– An egg-roll!

* Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
– Because talk is cheep!

* What’s the difference between Batman and a robber?
– Batman can go into a store without robin!

* What does Spiderman do for a living?
– He’s a web designer!

* What is a superhero’s favorite drink?
– Fruit punch!

* When does Poison Ivy change her underwear?
– When they are soiled!

* What is it called when Iron Man does a cart wheel?
– A Ferrous Wheel!

* What is Spider-Man’s favorite month?
– Web-ruary!

* What do you get if you cross the man of steel with veggie broth?
– SOUPerman!

* What is a villain’s favorite part of the joke?
– The punch line!

* What superhero uses public transportation?
– BUS Lightyear!

* What would you find in Superman’s bathroom?
– A Superbowl!

* Why doesn’t Superman have many friends?
– He wears his underwear over his pants!

* Why did Bruce’s date go badly?
– He has BAT breath!

* What does a superhero put in their drink?
– Just ice!

* Why couldn’t Batman go fishing?
– Robin ate all the worms!