* What did the carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
– Rugs and kisses!

* Why did the banana go out with the raisin?
– Because it couldn’t get a date.

* Why do valentines have hearts on them?
– Because spleens and livers are gross!

* What kind of flowers should you never give on Valentine’s Day?
– Cauliflowers!

* What did the boy bee say to the girl bee on Valentine’s Day?
– You are bee-utiful! Will you bee my honey?

* What did the octopus boy say to the octopus girl?
– Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?

* What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine’s Day?
– Ughs and kisses!

* What did the painter say to her boyfriend on Valentine’s Day?
– I love you with all my art!

* What do you call two birds in love?
– Tweethearts!

* Did you hear the one about the un-stamped letter?
– You wouldn’t get it.

* What starts with a P, ends with an E and has millions of letters?
– Post Office!

* What travels around the world, but stays in one corner?
– A stamp.

* Where do ghosts mail their letters?
– At the ghost office!

* Why don’t you stamp e-mails?
– Your foot would break the computer screen!