Today we got the first pop quiz
I could actually do!
Usually when we take a test
I haven’t got a clue.
The first question was easy:
Find a booger in your nose.
Then wipe it on the paper
instead of on your clothes.
I had to list ten chocolate bars
and nine video games.
Then I had to come up
with a dozen crazy claims.
I wish there was a video game
that let me clean me room
with shiny mops and old dust pans
and dreary, deathly doom.
I want explosive mess-be-gones,
robotic cleaning whales.
They all know how to save the Earth
and vacuum with their tales.
But since there aren’t aliens
who’ve learned to make my bed
I guess I’ll have to just sit here
and play my games instead!
My window’s by the window
of my brother Ray
so I change the weather
that he sees all day.
A massive pail of water
can make a gentle rain.
I switch on my hair dryer
to get a hurricane.
It’s easy to do hail:
it’s just a tray of ice
and if there’s passing weddings
I throw a little rice.
You may have a stable
with two unicorns,
but I have a donkey
with a dozen horns.
The first one casts a rainbow
straight into the sky.
The next one provides lift
that lets my donkey fly.
Three play like a flute
and one’s invisible.
Another is a gauge
to tell him when he’s full.
The gold one’s decorative.
The silver one’s a straw.
One horn can hold paper
while others learn to draw.
One horn lets him breath
while swimming in the sea.
The last two always fight.
Why can’t those horns agree!
Our school had a problem:
the principal was mean
so I wrote a letter
to the dear old Queen.
She wanted a new job.
She claimed that she was bored.
So she kicked him out
and took over our ward.
We all are royal slaves
who’ve sworn to study hard
and never pick a fight
when on the school yard.
Our school is more grand.
Our school’s much more chic.
At lunch we have banquets
with jubilees each week.
The Queen is very nice.
She lets us wear her crown
and she decrees “recess”
whenever there’s a frown.
There aren’t enough convenience stores
perched up in a tree.
That would be the absolutely
perfect store for me.
I cannot bike. I cannot drive.
I rarely leave our yard,
But climbing our big maple tree
isn’t very hard.
Then I could buy candy
whenever I want it
(And since I don’t have money,
of course they’d accept spit.)
In our school yard
on the trampled grass
my classmates played baseball
during our gym class.
The teacher had tried hard:
we had goals and a pigskin.
But we played it wrong
… because I didn’t win!
I want to get ahead.
I hate to be behind.
In summer I do chores
so fall I can unwind.
Today I raked the leaves.
It’s easy when there’s less.
Then I shoveled snow
in my summer dress.
I hung the Christmas lights
then put them all away.
I kept emptying the trash.
I don’t like to delay.
I cleaned the sink twelve times.
(There wasn’t any grime).
I’ve finished all my chores….
until next summertime!
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Authors Steve & Natasha