It’s cold inside!
I think I’ll freeze!
My nose blew snow
after I sneezed.
My fingernails’
all iced-up.
My soup is solid
in its cup.
The spider’s web
is filled with frost.
My doggy’s breath
looks like exhaust.
But at last
I found the cause…
someone please tell
Santa Claus:
The culprit is
my brother Ben.
He always leaves
the fridge open!
One year Santa tried
to break from his routine.
That was a disaster…
you’ll soon see what I mean:
The reindeer made the toys.
The elves all pulled his sleigh.
He slept during the night,
Gave toys during the day.
He hung all of our gifts
on top of our pine tree.
He wouldn’t drink his milk
or eat a fresh cookie!
Then after that strange year,
he promised to his wife
He’d never be a backwards Clause
The rest of his long life.
I’m Danny Frankenbalm.
My store’s called “Unique Pet”.
I’ve a couple animals
I’m sure you’ve never met
I have a chicken-horse
whose beak is by its tail.
And checkered elephants
with feathers like a quail.
I also sell square snakes
that have a bright blue horn
They’re easy to care for
because they just eat corn.
My cats are camouflaged
to look like a car wheel
But careful with their tails:
they’re actually an eel.
I had to wear a muffin cup
as my winter hat.
My sister hid my outdoor clothes.
She is such a brat.
I’ve got owl puppets on my hands
and towels as a coat.
Then there’s the stuffed animal
snake around my throat.
My sister’s mean beyond a doubt!
Wouldn’t you agree?
I can’t believe she’ll keep them all…
’til I return her ski.
I’m going to be famous!
I’m going to be great!
For every award
I’m the best candidate.
I’ve got an idea
to solve world peace.
I know how to force
every famine to cease.
I’ll power our town
with four sweaty socks
Or make a vaccine
for every pox.
I’ll reduce the garbage
in landfills by nine.
Wherever you’re shopping,
there won’t be a line.
I’d love to complete
all of this before bed
But Mom wants my room
to be cleaned up instead!
Because it’s Thanksgiving, I must give my thanks
For all of my successful November pranks.
I stuffed every mailbox with dry fallen leaves
And shortened the length of my Mom’s sweater sleeves.
I hid chocolate mousse in my sister’s right shoe
And swapped my dad’s hair gels for bottles of glue.
My pranks all worked out! I should plan another.
(I’m so grateful that I could blame my brother!)
In fall all of my leaves
hold on to their branch,
but pieces of my house
fall around my ranch.
The cold autumnal wind
blows shutters off my walls.
A shingle from the roof
dances as it falls.
The siding on my house
curls into tumbleweeds.
The window in the den
sprouts a dozen seeds.
I’ll miss my old bedroom
and my front porch swing,
but everything is fine:
it all re-grows in spring!
There’s a house just down the street
where no one dares to trick or treat.
The town dentist, Count Dracula,
lives there with his dreaded jaw.
His werewolf’s always standing guard
to keep small kids off of the yard.
And if you’re not feeling afraid:
Frankenstein serves as his maid.
But monsters don’t scare me at all!
For Twix I’d brave a Zombie mall.
I find going there’s a waste:
because they only give toothpaste.
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Authors Steve & Natasha