The underwater mailman
grabs his sack of mail
and walks down to the beach
on an old and dusty trail.
He checks his air supply,
then dons his scuba gear.
His flippers flop around
as he jumps off of the pier.
Graceful as a fish
he flutters, kicks and dives.
At noon I get excited:
not long ‘til mail arrives.
I sprinkled carpet seeds
before going to bed.
(They’re tiny little pods
of balled-up dark green thread.)
Immediately my floor
sprouted fine green hair.
It grew up through my toes!
I leaped onto the chair!
A rug crept up the wall.
My room had Berber drawers.
A tapestry had grown
clear across the doors.
A dozen fiber vines
tangled through my room.
A nylon carpet flower
opened in full bloom.
I could not believe
the way the fabric spread…
I’m glad I didn’t plant
the leopard seeds instead!
Today I came across
my own Expand-o gun.
It makes anything big —
I think this will be fun!
I aim it at my bed
until it fills the room
then slide down from the top
in my king costume.
I cut a little seat
out of a juicy pear
and then I expand it
into a royal chair.
I plan to turn a tack
into a mighty sword,
but my gun won’t stop —
I even yank the cord!
It hits the toilet bowl.
I watch it grow and grow:
The handle’s in the clouds!
That’s bad! I have to go!
There are a dozen houses
in our neighborhood
each of them is brown
with siding made of wood…
Except for just one house
that always gets a stare.
That is where is I live —
It’s covered in blue hair!
The door is triangles
that open up and down.
If I do not clean them,
they almost seem to frown.
All of the window blinds
blink throughout the day.
Our porch light sneezes mud
if I bring home a bouquet.
I have to trim the fur
in our brick chimney
or the mantle starts
to looks like a goatee.
So if you’re coming over
to knock on my front door
I hope you’re not surprised
when my house lets out a R-O-A-R!!!
The garbage truck howled
and rolled down our street
while searching the curb
for fresh trash to eat.
A kind humble beast
with two blinking eyes
and large steal teeth
surrounded by flies.
Leaving recycling
it ate all the rest,
from tacos to bolts
— and even a chest!
It’s so important
it always stays fed…
or it might just eat
a mailbox instead.
I dug the middle out
of my French baguette,
and cut a dozen holes
to make a clarinet.
Sally got old buns
to make a xylophone.
Sam used two bread sticks
like a slide trombone.
We took our instruments
beneath a poplar tree
and when we all had tuned
we played a symphony.
Our music was superb!
A fascinating sound!
So that is what we do
when we “loaf” around.
I miss my cat! I miss my cat!
Since he got a job
He’s had so many hours
that he has to log.
He’s a fighter pilot
With the Kitten Squad
So all his toys are home
just sitting here un-pawed
Doing loop-de-loops
is his new catnip
Which really is surprising
I thought he’d man a ship!
I silently tip-toe.
I hide and I sneak.
I won’t make a noise.
My shoes do not squeak.
I’m being as quiet
as I can be
but my lion roars
at poetry.
If he’s near short fiction
he bats with his paws.
If he sees an atlas
it goes in his jaws.
He’s usually calm
like very old dogs
He just gets excited near
card catalogs.
I’m not really sure
why your angry with me
I’m being quiet
in the library.
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Authors Steve & Natasha