I like to imagine shiny paperclips.
I like to imagine pens with chewed-on tips.
I also love to think about bars of soap,
packs of unused nails and pieces of brown rope.
You may find it dull I dream about a rake,
But I live with werewolves, so it is a break!
What do you call an alien with three eyes?
* What do you call an elephant in your bathroom?
– Stuck!
* What do you get when an elephant sky dives?
– A big hole.
* What is the difference between an elephant and a banana?
– If you don’t know, I’m never eating a banana split at your house!
* How can you tell if there’s an elephant in the ice cream shop?
– His bike is outside.
* What time is it when an elephant sits in a chair?
– Time to buy a new chair!
* What’s big and grey with horns?
– An elephant marching band!
* How do you raise a baby elephant?
– With a fork lift!
* How do you get down from an elephant?
– You don’t! You get down from a duck.
(Down is another name for duck feathers!)
* How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant?
– Grapes are purple.
* How is an elephant like a pencil?
– Both are yellow… except for the pencil.
* What did the peanut say to the elephant?
– Nothing! Peanuts can’t talk.
* What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
– Lost.
* What is the difference between an elephant and a flea?
– An elephant can have fleas but fleas can’t have elephants.
I swear that this jam weighs as much as a bridge.
I don’t think that I’ll get it out of the fridge.
I see tiny bubbles that float all around
every time the jam makes a trumpet sound.
I took off the lid and saw something bizarre.
There was an elephant inside my jar.
I don’t think that I’ll put this jam on my bread.
(I’ll stick with peanut butter on toast instead).
What’s as big as an elephant, but doesn’t weigh anything?
My little sis’ deserves
something nice today
so I filled her floor
with mounds of fresh-cut hay.
Her favorite cuddly toy
is a purple sheep
so I got her lambs
while she was asleep.
The lambs made lots of noise!
I worried she would wake!
I quickly made them each
a strawberry milkshake.
They finished the ice-cream
as fast as they could drink.
It didn’t sit too well:
the room began to stink.
I hope you learn from me
and follow my advice:
It’s absolutely not
worth it to be nice.
What did the Valentine’s Day card say to the stamp?
Fill out these questions to generate your own silly mad libs story instantly online! (Hint: a Verb is an action. An adverb usually ends in “ly” and describes an action (like slowly). A noun is a person/place/thing. An adjective describes a person/place/thing.)
Authors Steve & Natasha
