I mix up all my veggies.
I can’t tell peas from leeks.
I couldn’t point out broccoli
if it’s stuffed between my cheeks.
My carrot cakes have cabbage
My cole-slaw tastes like toes.
When I make a snowman
it’s got spinach for a nose.
While baking a fresh pizza
I don’t add tomato sauce.
I accidentally throw on
Brussel sprouts covered in moss.
Until I learn my veg,
I think it’s safe for now
to avoid all of the foods
that have ever touched a plow.
Why do porcupines give hearts for Valentine’s Day?
* What did the carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
– Rugs and kisses!
* Why did the banana go out with the raisin?
– Because it couldn’t get a date.
* Why do valentines have hearts on them?
– Because spleens and livers are gross!
* What kind of flowers should you never give on Valentine’s Day?
– Cauliflowers!
* What did the boy bee say to the girl bee on Valentine’s Day?
– You are bee-utiful! Will you bee my honey?
* What did the octopus boy say to the octopus girl?
– Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?
* What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine’s Day?
– Ughs and kisses!
* What did the painter say to her boyfriend on Valentine’s Day?
– I love you with all my art!
* What do you call two birds in love?
– Tweethearts!
I’m looking for a Valentine,
but why won’t anyone be mine?
I dropped a slug in Sarah’s hair,
but she just acts like I’m not there.
I punched Melissa on the knee,
but did she get something for me?
I hid Joanna’s gloves and hat,
but she refused to even chat.
Why, oh why, don’t girls like me?
I guess it’s just a mystery!
Why was the teacher cross-eyed?
Like most kids, when our son learned he could point and make noise to ask for something he wanted, he also realized he could ask really loudly and aggressively to get our attention. That made my wife and I ask ourselves how can we teach manners before our son can talk?
The solution we came up with was using “tah” instead of the word “please”. “Tah” was easy for him to say and we made him say it in a nice voice before we gave the object he wanted.
At first we just told him to say “tah”… then once he got the hang of it, we told him to “ask politely” whenever he forgot.
The change has been remarkable. Instead of constant screaming and pointing, we now have a son who points and asks nicely for what he wants. He learned it pretty quickly since there was the strong, immediately motivation of getting the toy he couldn’t reach.
Many parents use sign language as a tool to talk with their toddlers before they have learned to talk. However, our son was never interested in it so it didn’t work for us. From the moment he could make a sound, he wanted to make different sounds for different needs.
If you have a child that is interested in hand motions, sign language is a great way to say “please”. “Please” is signed by making small circles around your heart with one hand.
Our friends who have had success with sign language recommend using it yourself. It’s much easier for a toddler to understand “please” when he seems mom and dad using it with each other. Who knew toddlers learned through repetition?
Just because a child says “please”, doesn’t mean they always get what they want. That’s called being spoiled. We’d never let our son play with a boiling pot of water simply because he said “tah”. However, both “tah” and sign language were a great introduction to manners.
Any other techniques we missed? Leave a comment and let us know how you taught manners to your young kids.
I’ve replaced my bed with
an ice-cream machine.
It serves up chocolate
or vanilla bean.
My dresser is packed
with sprinkles and cherries.
My toy cupboard’s filled
with whip cream and berries.
I got rid of my books
to make room for bowls
and I’ve taught all my dolls
to use the controls.
I adore my room.
It makes my heart leap!
The only bad thing:
I have nowhere to sleep.
Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet?
Authors Steve & Natasha
