Fill out these questions to generate your own silly mad libs letter instantly online! (Hint: a Verb is an action. An adverb usually ends in “ly” and describes an action (like slowly). A noun is a person/place/thing. An adjective describes a person/place/thing.)
The Borda Biters bit my brother
right upon the nose
and then the Borda Biters
had the nerve to bite his toes.
The crunched above his hips
and they gnawed below his knees.
They even chewed his lips between
his bites of Mac and Cheese.
But when they raised their triples heads
and set their sights on me,
That is when I squashed them all as
fast as fast can be!
Masquerade treasure from Kit Williams
When I was about ten I read a book called Masquerade that was written and illustrated by Kit Williams. It was full of elaborate pictures littered with carefully designed clues that would lead you to real treasure he buried in England. Even though I wasn’t in England, I could still participate. If you solved the riddle and mailed him a letter, he would dig it up for you. (I’m not sure if he dug up holes for all the wrong guesses! :)
My sister and I stared for hours at that book, dreaming about how it would feel to unearth a massive treasure. Even twenty years later I still get a rush of excitement when I think about the book.
That is the sign of a good story: it lingers in your imagination decades later. The “treasures” I have wanted during my lifetime have changed many times, but there is something universally appealing about the search.
I googled to see if the treasure was unclaimed, and sadly was unearthed when I was four. However, I will still give the book to my son, so that I can inspire him to search for back yard yetis, toadstool fairies, loch ness monsters and all the other treasures that make this world a rich place to live.
Fill out these questions to generate your own silly mad libs letter instantly online! (Hint: a Verb is an action. An adverb usually ends in “ly” and describes an action (like slowly). A noun is a person/place/thing. An adjective describes a person/place/thing.)
My home is under siege today
From a slow-i-cane.
Everything is sluggish
It really is a pain!
I tried to fill my water
From the kitchen sink
It dripped all of the morning,
But not enough to drink.
I clicked my bedside lamp
But haven’t see the light
I’m worried it will shine now
In the middle of the night.
I kicked my soccer ball
At the Frisbee in the tree
But it hasn’t even traveled
Any higher than my knee.
I’ll open all of my presents
When my dad’s done with the yard.
But the way that things are going
I may not even see a card.
There is a lot of junk in the world — and we’re told by marketers that we’re better parents if we buy it all for our kids. The more expensive the toy, the more we must love our kids.
However, I think the best gift for kids is time.
This weekend we bought a new toy for our son, but it wasn’t the toy that impressed him — it was us playing with him. The toy was just a vehicle for attention.
One of the best things to give your kids is a date with you. Take them on a walk, play at the park, crack open a board game, use your imagination or go to a children’s museum. (And make sure to leave your cell phone off — a walk together doesn’t count if you’re checking your email!) I do this with my nieces and nephews and it’s always the best part of my visit.
As most people know, the best way to get ahead in life is a good ham cake. I’m not talking about a pork pie — but a fluffy, dessert cake shaped like a ham. Here’s how I made mine:
Start with a 9×13″ cake. I used a white cake with red dye, but a red velvet cake would work fine. Everyone has their favorite recipe or brand, so make what your family likes.
Bake the cake and let it cool… preferably on a window sill where it’s easy for neighborhood children to steal.
Cut the cake in half so you have two 9×6.5″ cakes. Stack the two pieces on top of each other. Extra credit: put pink frosting between the two layers of cake before you stack it.
Use a serrated knife to shave the cake into a tear-drop shape. I rounded all of the edges and sloped down the down the back. When you’re done, put the cake on your final serving platter. Now is a good time to eat most of the shavings, but save a few to use as ham slices on the tray.
Frost! Frost! Frost! You need three colors of frosting: brown, white and pink. Again you can make your favorite frosting or buy it in a can. (If you make the frosting, make sure it is easily spreadable because the cake is extra crumbly from shaping it). I used chocolate frosting, vanilla frosting and then added red food coloring to the vanilla to make it pink.
Frost the back, top and sides of the cake with brown frosting… but before you do any frosting, test it to make sure it tastes good. I recommend testing at least two spoons since the first one might be a fluke.
Make a diamond pattern on the brown frosting. You can use the handle of a spoon or knife to draw subtle diamonds on the chocolate frosting — but I opted to pipette white diamonds on my ham cake so it would have a more cartoon-y look. (There are instructions about pipetting below.)
Frost the front of the cake pink. If you actually have any cake shavings left, turn them into shaved ham that has already been cut on the platter. As you can see from my picture, I only had one shaving left.
Pipette the white ham bone. If you have never pipetted before, it’s surprisingly simple. Put white frosting into a plastic bag and seal off the bag by spinning it or zipping it. Cut off a small corner of the plastic bag with scissors. Squeeze white frosting out of the plastic bag in a circle shape so it looks like a ham bone.
If you don’t have a baby that’s about ready to wake up from a nap, put mini chocolate chips in the middle of each of the chocolate diamonds — they’ll look like little cloves. I had hoped to do that, but my baby was just waking up.
Before serving, top with a pineapple slice and a maraschino cherry.
Time to complete: 30 minutes once the cake is baked and the frosting is made/purchased… or a good two hours if you’re making the cake from scratch, baking, cooling and cleaning everything up.
Cleaning up is optional — nobody will care that you made a mess when they’re eating HAM CAKE!
Fill out these questions to generate your own silly mad libs letter instantly online! (Hint: a Verb is an action. An adverb usually ends in “ly” and describes an action (like slowly). A noun is a person/place/thing. An adjective describes a person/place/thing.)
Authors Steve & Natasha