* Why shouldn’t you wear a cardboard belt?
– It would be a waist of paper!

* What did the skeleton order for dinner?
– Spare ribs!

* What did the left hand say to the right hand?
– How you can be always right?

* What makes music on your hair?
– A head band!

* What do you call a bear with no ear?
– B!

* Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
– Because it is the scenter!

* When are your eyes not eyes?
– When the wind makes them water!

* What smells the best at dinner?
– Your nose!

* What’s the most musical bone?
– The trom-bone!

* What kind of shoes does a plumber hate?
– Clogs

* What do you call a bear with no teeth?
– A gummy bear!

* What has no fingers, but lots of rings?
– A tree!

* What has a bottom at the top?
– Your legs!

* Do you look in the mirror after washing your face?
– No, you look in a towel!

* Did you pick your nose?
– No, I was born with it!

They’re not technically a body part, but here’s a couple booger jokes as well! (I couldn’t resist!)

* What do you call a skinny booger?
– Slim pickins!

* What’s the difference between boogers and broccoli?
– You can’t eat broccoli!

* What do you find inside a clean nose?
– Fingerprints!

* What are dinosaurs floors made out of?
– Rep-tiles!

* Which dinosaur always crashed his car?
– Tyrannosaurus wrecks!

* Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
– The ‘p’ is silent!

* What does a triceratops sit on?
– Its tricera-bottom!

* What makes more noise than a dinosaur?
– Two dinosaurs!

* What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
– Doyouthinkhesaraus!

* What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
– A dino-snore or a Stego-snorus!

* What did dinosaurs have that no other animal had?
– Baby dinosaurs!

* What did the dinosaur say after she walked into a boulder?
– I’m-so-saurus!

* What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
– Jurassic Pork!

* Who did dinosaurs call for help?
– Tricera-cops!

* How do you know if there’s a dinosaur under your bed?
– Your nose bumps the ceiling!

* What’s as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing?
– His shadow!

* What came after the dinosaur?
– Its tail!

In honor of “Do The Chicken Dance Day” (May 14), we have posted some bad yolks about chickens…

* What did the chicken do when the traffic light turned green?
– Egg-celerated!

* How do chickens wake up in the morning?
– With an alarm cluck!

* How do chickens get away in a hurry?
– They scramble away!

* Why did the chicken cross the playground?
– To get to the other slide!

* What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cow?
– Roost beef!

* Why do hens lay eggs?
– If they dropped them, they’d break!

* Why did the chicken join the band?
– She had the drumsticks!

* Why did the rooster cross the road?
– To cock-a-doodle do something!

* What happened when the chicken ate gun powder?
– She eggs-ploded!

* What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
– Foul weather!

* What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
– An egg-roll!

* Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
– Because talk is cheep!

* What’s the difference between Batman and a robber?
– Batman can go into a store without robin!

* What does Spiderman do for a living?
– He’s a web designer!

* What is a superhero’s favorite drink?
– Fruit punch!

* When does Poison Ivy change her underwear?
– When they are soiled!

* What is it called when Iron Man does a cart wheel?
– A Ferrous Wheel!

* What is Spider-Man’s favorite month?
– Web-ruary!

* What do you get if you cross the man of steel with veggie broth?
– SOUPerman!

* What is a villain’s favorite part of the joke?
– The punch line!

* What superhero uses public transportation?
– BUS Lightyear!

* What would you find in Superman’s bathroom?
– A Superbowl!

* Why doesn’t Superman have many friends?
– He wears his underwear over his pants!

* Why did Bruce’s date go badly?
– He has BAT breath!

* What does a superhero put in their drink?
– Just ice!

* Why couldn’t Batman go fishing?
– Robin ate all the worms!

* What did the artist draw before he went to bed?
– The curtains!

* Why did the paintbrush see a doctor?
– It had a stroke!

* What does a momma color wheel say to a baby color wheel?
– Don’t use that tone with me.

* What’s green and smells like blue paint?
– Green paint!

* Why was the artist afraid he might go to jail?
– Because he’d been framed!

* How do you inspire an artist?
– Easel-y

* What does Salvador Dali have for breakfast?
– A bowl of surreal!

* What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
– A carrot!

* Did you hear about the artist that always took things too far?
– She didn’t know where to draw the line.

* Which animals are famous painters?
– Pablo Pig-caso and Vincent van Goat!

* What is the left side of a birthday cake?
– The side that’s not eaten!

* What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow?
– A birthday pheasant!

* Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor?
– It was feeling crumby!

* Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?
– In a cat-alogue!

* What does every happy birthday end with?
– The letter Y.

* Why did the boy hit his birthday cake with a hammer?
– It was pound cake!

* What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday?
– Thanks. I’ll never part with it!

* What does a clam do on his birthday?
– He shell-abrates!

* What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
– Angel food cake!

* What do you get every birthday?
– Another year older!

* What did the Teddy Bear say after blowing out his birthday candles?
– No cake for me… I’m stuffed!

* How can you tell if an elephant’s been to your birthday party?
– He left footprints in the ice cream!

* Does a green candle burn longer than a yellow one?
– No, they both burn shorter!

* What birthday cake is as hard as a rock?
– A marble cake!

* Why didn’t the caveman send birthday cards?
– The stamps kept falling off his rocks!

* Why do we put candles on top of birthday cakes?
– It’s too hard to put them on the bottom!

Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Wanda!
Wanda who?
Wanda wish you a happy birthday!

* When do monkeys fall from the sky?
– During APE-ril showers!

* If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
– Pilgrims!

* What’s a baby chick’s favorite plant?
– EGG-plants!

* What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
– FOUL weather!

* When do people use trampolines?
– Spring time!

* What do you get when you plant kisses?
– Tulips!

* Why is everyone so tired on April 1?
– They just finished a 31 day March!

* What goes up when the rain comes down?
– An umbrella!

* What bow can’t be tied?
– A rainbow!

* What letter is like a spring flower?
– The letter A because a bee comes after it.

* Can February March?
– No, but April May!

* What falls but never gets hurt?
– The rain!