* Why did the turkey play drums?
– He already had drumsticks!

* What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
– Wing! Wing!

* What do you call it when it rains turkeys?
– Foul weather!

* What side of a turkey has the most feathers?
– The outside!

* Why do turkeys always “gobble, gobble”?
– They never learned good table manners!

* What key won’t open any door?
– A turkey!

* Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey for Thanksgiving?
– The moose wouldn’t fit in their oven!

* Why do pilgrims’ pants fall down?
– They wear their belt buckles on their hats!

* What should you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?
– A har-vest!

* Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?
* He was out standing in his field!

* What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport?
– Squash!

* How do you grow mashed potatoes?
– Run over your field with a steamroller!

* Where did the Pilgrims stand when they landed?
– On their feet!

* If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
– Pilgrims!

* What is Dracula’s favorite holiday?
– Fangs-giving!

* What did baby corn say to mama corn?
– Where’s popcorn?

* Where did the first corncob come from?
– The stalk brought it!

* What smells the best at Thanksgiving dinner?
– Your nose!

* What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?
– A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries.

* What do you call a fish with a tie?
– So-FISH-ticated

* What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?
– Swimming trunks.

* What part of a fish weighs the most?
– The scales!

* Where are most fish found?
– Between their head and tail!

* Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
– They’re shellfish!

* What do sea monsters eat?
– Fish and ships.

* What do you call a fish without an eye?
– Fsh!

* What do maps and fish have in common?
– They both have scales!

* How does an octopus go to war?
– Well-armed!

* What’s the difference between a piano and a fish?
– You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish!

* Why don’t fish like basketball?
– They’re afraid of the net!

* What’s the musical part of a fish?
– The scales!

* How do you get an oyster to the hospital?
– In a clam-bulance!

… If you think of a better fish pun, let minnow…

* Where can you find an ocean with no water?
– On a map!

* What kind of rocks are never under water?
– Dry ones!

* Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
– They dropped out of school!

* What runs, but never walks?
– Water!

* What did the ocean say to the beach?
– Nothing, it just waved!

* What do mermaids sleep on?
– Water beds!

* What do you get when you throw a billion books into the ocean?
– A title wave!

* What kind of hair did the ocean have?
– Wavy!

* Who cleaned the bottom of the ocean?
– A Mer-Maid

* Why were the student’s grades underwater?
– They were all below C level.

* What happens if you throw a white hat into the Black Sea?
– It gets wet!

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Water?
Water who?
Water you waiting for? Open the door!