My horse is really smart.
There’s so much he can do.
He knows how to chop carrots
and cook them in a stew.
My horse can make my bed
and dust shelves with his tail.
And when he paints the hall,
he masters each detail.
I want to keep him inside—
there’s so much to be gained
except for one small detail:
he isn’t potty trained!
* What’s a royal pardon?
– What you say when a Queen burbs!
* Why is England the wettest country?
– The queen has reigned for years!
* Where do kings and queens get crowned?
– On the head!
* Where does the Queen keep her armies?
– Up her sleevies.
* What do people say if a knight in shining armor gets killed?
– Rust in peace!
* Who made King Arthur’s round table?
– Sir-Cumference
* What has six legs, four ears and a suit of armor?
– A king on horseback!
* When is a piece of wood like a king?
– When it’s the ruler!
* What is the first thing a queen does when she comes to the throne?
– Sits down!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Queen?
Queen who?
Queen your room. It’s filthy!
Today we got the first pop quiz
I could actually do!
Usually when we take a test
I haven’t got a clue.
The first question was easy:
Find a booger in your nose.
Then wipe it on the paper
instead of on your clothes.
I had to list ten chocolate bars
and nine video games.
Then I had to come up
with a dozen crazy claims.
* Why are graveyards noisy?
– Because of all the coffin!
* What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
– Lots of blood tests!
* Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad?
– They were trans-parents!
* What do you call two witches who share a broom?
– Broom mates.
* What room can’t ghosts go in?
– The “living” room!
* Why do witches use brooms?
– Vacuum cleaners are far too heavy!
* Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
– To get a spare rib.
* Why do vampires need mouthwash?
– They have bat breath.
* What did the mummy say to the detective?
– Let’s wrap this case up.
* What is a ghost’s favorite ride?
– A roller-ghoster.
* What witch is good when it’s dark?
– A lights-witch!
* What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
– Noise!
* What are a ghost’s favorite pants?
– Boo jeans!
* What do you read on Halloween?
– Boo-ks
* What monster plays tricks on Halloween?
– Prank-enstein!
* What did the skeleton order with his drink?
– A mop.
* Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story?
– There are so many plots there!
* Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game?
– They couldn’t find their bats.
* What do ghosts eat for dinner?
– Spook-getti!
* Where do ghosts get their mail?
– At the ghost office.
* What can you say about a horrible mummy joke?
– It Sphinx!
* What do witches put on their hair?
– Scare spray!
Fill out these questions to generate your own silly mad libs story instantly online! (Hint: a Verb is an action. An adverb usually ends in “ly” and describes an action (like slowly). A noun is a person/place/thing. An adjective describes a person/place/thing.)
I wish there was a video game
that let me clean me room
with shiny mops and old dust pans
and dreary, deathly doom.
I want explosive mess-be-gones,
robotic cleaning whales.
They all know how to save the Earth
and vacuum with their tales.
But since there aren’t aliens
who’ve learned to make my bed
I guess I’ll have to just sit here
and play my games instead!
My window’s by the window
of my brother Ray
so I change the weather
that he sees all day.
A massive pail of water
can make a gentle rain.
I switch on my hair dryer
to get a hurricane.
It’s easy to do hail:
it’s just a tray of ice
and if there’s passing weddings
I throw a little rice.
* What do you call someone who eats school lunch everyday?
– Starving!
* What’s the only sandwich worse than school lunch?
– A knuckle sandwich!
* What do you call the lunch lady who fixes fruit?
– A cherry cobbler!
* What’s the difference between school lunches and a pile of slimy snails?
– School lunches are served on a plate!
* Did you hear about the students that could learn super quickly?
– They started bringing their own lunches the second day.
* What stops a lunchroom food fight?
– A peas treaty!
* What’s the worst thing about eating school lunch?
– The food!
Authors Steve & Natasha