My mother never taught me how to make my bed
so I had to learn from a unicorn instead.
With your mighty horn, you tuck the bottom in
Then bite an upper corner and pull it with your chin.
If you do not have a horn, you can use a pole
Just be extra careful or your bedding gets a hole.
What did one calculator say to the other?
The hail’s pouring down!
It’s bigger than bricks!
As soon as it’s done
we’ll have tons to fix.
The mailbox is shattered.
Our bird feeder’s gone.
I see giant craters
all over our lawn.
I want nothing more
than to go out and play.
But I’m stuck inside
doing homework all day!
What is a planet’s favorite book?
I shot a French fry up to Mars.
I mailed a bean to Spain.
I hid a strand of my string cheese
on a Russian train.
I yachted to New Zealand
to bury a poached egg.
I hang glided in Hong King
and sprinkled some nutmeg.
I leave a grape in every car.
I bicycle with oats
And if you think we’re out of peas
I scattered them on boats.
Why is the nose in the middle of your face?
* Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon?
– It was full.
* What star wears sunglasses?
– A movie star!
* What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?
– The space bar!
* What’s a light year?
– Same a regular year, but healthier for you.
* How do astronauts serve dinner?
– On flying saucers.
* What do planets like to read?
– Comet books!
* Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
– He was looking for Pluto.
* What did Venus say to Saturn?
– Give me a ring!
* How many paperclips would it take to reach the moon?
– One, but it would have to be very large.
* What do you call a bug on the moon?
– A Luna-Tick!
* What do you call a crazy man in space?
– An astro-nut!
* How did the solar system hold up its pants?
– With an asteroid belt!
* When do astronauts eat their lunch?
– At launch time.
* What do planets sing?
– Nep-tunes!
* How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?
– It’s full.
I think I’ve caught a cold.
I’ve pinned him to the floor.
He’s trying to escape
to make someone’s throat sore.
He poked me in the nose
and tried to slip away.
I caught him by the door
and forced that cold to stay.
I stuffed him a drawer
and fastened all the locks.
I think we all are safe…
until I need fresh socks.
Authors Steve & Natasha
