I swear that this jam weighs as much as a bridge.
I don’t think that I’ll get it out of the fridge.
I see tiny bubbles that float all around
every time the jam makes a trumpet sound.
I took off the lid and saw something bizarre.
There was an elephant inside my jar.
I don’t think that I’ll put this jam on my bread.
(I’ll stick with peanut butter on toast instead).
What’s as big as an elephant, but doesn’t weigh anything?
My little sis’ deserves
something nice today
so I filled her floor
with mounds of fresh-cut hay.
Her favorite cuddly toy
is a purple sheep
so I got her lambs
while she was asleep.
The lambs made lots of noise!
I worried she would wake!
I quickly made them each
a strawberry milkshake.
They finished the ice-cream
as fast as they could drink.
It didn’t sit too well:
the room began to stink.
I hope you learn from me
and follow my advice:
It’s absolutely not
worth it to be nice.
What did the Valentine’s Day card say to the stamp?
Fill out these questions to generate your own silly mad libs story instantly online! (Hint: a Verb is an action. An adverb usually ends in “ly” and describes an action (like slowly). A noun is a person/place/thing. An adjective describes a person/place/thing.)
I mix up all my veggies.
I can’t tell peas from leeks.
I couldn’t point out broccoli
if it’s stuffed between my cheeks.
My carrot cakes have cabbage
My cole-slaw tastes like toes.
When I make a snowman
it’s got spinach for a nose.
While baking a fresh pizza
I don’t add tomato sauce.
I accidentally throw on
Brussel sprouts covered in moss.
Until I learn my veg,
I think it’s safe for now
to avoid all of the foods
that have ever touched a plow.
Why do porcupines give hearts for Valentine’s Day?
* What did the carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
– Rugs and kisses!
* Why did the banana go out with the raisin?
– Because it couldn’t get a date.
* Why do valentines have hearts on them?
– Because spleens and livers are gross!
* What kind of flowers should you never give on Valentine’s Day?
– Cauliflowers!
* What did the boy bee say to the girl bee on Valentine’s Day?
– You are bee-utiful! Will you bee my honey?
* What did the octopus boy say to the octopus girl?
– Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?
* What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine’s Day?
– Ughs and kisses!
* What did the painter say to her boyfriend on Valentine’s Day?
– I love you with all my art!
* What do you call two birds in love?
– Tweethearts!
Authors Steve & Natasha
