Swaddling a bear is different than a baby

When I was pregnant, my husband and I learned how to swaddle a baby by practicing on our teddy bear. It was funny to stumble across this cozy bear in different rooms… sleeping happily… just like our baby would be before too long.

However, within 12 hours of returning home with our son we quickly realized swaddling a teddy bear is nothing like a baby. Our son could squirm, kick his legs and wiggle like nobody’s business. I think it took us three days of practicing before we learned how to do it. (Making sure the swaddle was over his shoulder helped… and it also stayed on better when he wore a onesie — baby skin is so soft that the swaddle just slid around next to his skin).

So if you have learned how to swaddle on a doll, don’t get too cocky…. I don’t think there is anything you can do to guarantee a good night’s sleep the first few days :)

Do you open presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?

I grew up opening presents family presents on Christmas Eve and stockings from Santa on Christmas Day. I’m not sure if my parents gave up on making us wait or if that was simply their tradition. I always liked that because then you had all Christmas day to play with your toys.

My wife grew up opening gifts on Christmas day. She loved the excitement of waking up and tearing through all of your gifts. There was so much excitement piled into one morning.

As a family, we’ve chosen to blend the two traditions. We open many of the gifts on Christmas Eve, but usually save the big presents for the next morning with Santa’s gifts. After getting married, I’m always amazed by the number of traditions you’re used to that might be slightly different than how your spouse did them. Everyone grows up thinking their family is normal, but normal is different for everyone. (At least my wife and I agree on the toilet paper going over the roll!)

When do you open presents?

To master a skill, be a baby

I have dabbled in most of the arts (studied ceramics in college, acted professionally for a hundred shows, started out as a music major, created educational movies and published two books) and it’s easy to get discouraged. There are many more artists than high paid jobs for artists. But I think artists forget that success doesn’t come over night — instead practice makes perfect.

I’m reminded of this everyday when I watch my son. This week alone, he has grabbed my finger, let go, moved his hand away and grabbed my finger again at least 200 times. He is constantly practicing new skills. Over and over again. When he masters one thing (holding on to a toy) he starts mastering the next (passing it to his other hand).

As an adult, it’s easy to forget how much you have learned and how long it took to master. You think that every new skill should be as easy as walking, biking or drinking from a cup. But all new skills — regardless of your age — take time to perfect. So don’t give up until you’ve given your art the time it needs to flourish.

Smile like a Baby

Evidently kids smile 400 times a day and adults only 20 — something along those lines isn’t hard to believe.

My baby recently learned how to smile and that’s all he wants to do. It’s so strange to have someone stare happily at you for ages and want nothing in return but a smile back. I feel like I’m the sun in his sky and wonder what I have done to deserve such special treatment.

But when I think about my husband and I, we never smile that frequently and we’re both very happy people. It seems natural and I think it could be helpful to smile more. It can help attract the perfect mate, move up the ladder at work or make a new friend. Plus, it’s so simple to do: just take the corners of your mouth and move them up. Then repeat. :)

Real versus Fake Christmas Tree

As a kid, I couldn’t imagine anything more magical than picking out a real Christmas tree with my parents. I loved everything about it from watching them try to fit it on the roof of our car to sweeping up the pine needles at home.

Now, as an adult I just think about the tremendous amount of work a real pine tree brings with it. I don’t want to pick up the tree, dispose of it, water it or sweep its needles. Part of me feels guilty for putting up a plastic tree — am I depriving my kid of a time honored tradition?

After thinking about this for a few years, I think I’m okay with our plastic tree. The magic of Christmas isn’t with the tree — it’s about sharing the holiday with loved ones. There’s no shame in spending an afternoon putting up decorations, singing Christmas carols (and yes, eating a few cookies :) with your husband and son!

How about you…. have you come to terms with your fake tree or do you still make the trip down to the tree lot?

Why don’t we smile like babies?

We have no definitive idea why we are on Earth, yet we waste so much of our time and energy doing jobs we hate so that we can buy junk food that we know isn’t good for us, watch movies that are too violent, shop is bland, generic soul-less malls and sit alone in traffic while our cars throw soot into the air.

How did we get to that point?

When I watch my child, I’m amazed by how much he smiles. He is happy to sit and look at me for 10 hours a day, doing nothing more than smiling, coo-ing and laughing. How did so many of us go from that to a normal, well-adjusted adult life? Growing up is strange.

I Tried Listening!

When I was studying music therapy, we did a course on listening. It was fascinating to discuss a skill you should be doing all the time, but rarely do well.

I remember an exercise where we had to listen to a classmate without thinking of what we were going to say next. No advice. No comments. No jokes. It made me realize I didn’t truly listen to people…. and if you don’t listen, you can’t be there for others.

Since that course, I’ve tried to listen better and let people to come to their own conclusions — that’s often more helpful than blabbing whatever advice was at the top of your head. When was the last time you tried listening?

How do you survive your first trimester of pregnancy

Every pregnancy is different — and you’re meant to have your pregnancy, but here are some tips that helped my first trimester go very smoothly. I felt generally queasy, but never vomited once… which I would attribute to my diet.

Vitamins: Don’t forget your prenatal vitamins. They have lots of goodies (like folic acid) that you don’t normally eat enough of. They’re an important safety net for your new baby.
Eat Often: I broke all of my meals into half, so I could eat something every couple hours. Even when I felt a bit nauseous, I felt better if I could get something down.
Eat in the middle of the night: You may be sleeping, but your baby is going 24×7. It makes sense to me that most people have morning sickness after a night of their baby growing with no nutrients for it. I kept a banana and peanut butter sandwich next to bed so I didn’t have to go 8 hours without food.
Avoid Processed Foods: Every time I ate greasy fries, I felt horrible later in the day or that night… so I gave it up. Whatever diet you have, try to reduce your processed foods by a notch or two.
Don’t overeat: You’re not eating for two. You’re eating for yourself and a poppy seed. Yes it takes extra energy to build a baby, but this is not a license to eat everything you want.
What’s at the heart of your craving? You have cravings because your body wants something for the baby… instead of just eating what comes to mind, ask yourself why the baby wants that food. For example, I often craved butter and ice-cream (both very fattening!), but really the baby wanted calcium. Whenever I craved dairy, I started with a small glass of milk. If the craving didn’t go away, I splurged on some ice-cream… but sadly, the milk always made mine go away.
Reduce Junk Food and Caffeine: The baby is going to take what it needs from the mother’s body…. so if you don’t replace those nutrients with good stuff, then the momma is left with nothing healthy. So reduce your junk food. (And with caffeine, I wouldn’t give my baby caffeine, so I tried not to give him caffeine in the womb either).
Research What’s Safe to Eat while Pregnant: My midwife told me to avoid certain cheeses like brie and feta… alcohol… fish with lots of mercury and other foods. Do some research into what foods are safer to eat — it might be time to give up those raw egg shakes.
Take care of yourself: It takes a lot of energy to build a baby, so look after yourself. Take naps. Go to bed early. Don’t try to do everything you used to.
Try Organics: As a final bonus item, try eating more organics. (Google the “dirty dozen” to see which produce contains the most pesticides — that’s a good place to start). There are so many strange chemicals that get sprayed on our foods (and babies start out so fragile) that every bit probably helps.

Tag: parenting