My bison won’t eat broccoli.
My panther won’t eat peas.
My mice will not eat mushrooms.
It’s only cheese they please.

I’ve tried to feed my cow
a healthy dose of kale,
but she just turns her nose
and flicks it with her tail.

I wish they’d even eat a bite!
I think that would be great
since I cannot get up to play
until I clear my plate.

I’m waiting for a rocket ship
to take me to the moon.
My best friend has been building one.
He’ll pick me up by noon.

First we’re going to skip moon rocks
across the milky way.
And then we’ll ask some aliens
to dance the Moon Ballet.

I think we’ll do some fishing
for comets passing by.
We likely won’t catch any,
but it’s still fun to try.

It always takes my breath away
to see Earth from on the air.
But soon I’ll have to come back home—
There are no bathrooms there.

Today we played hockey
with our oatmeal pucks.
But both the teams’ goalies
were migrating ducks.

Since fowl don’t have hands
they stopped pucks for a snack.
Just don’t get near the goal–
or the ducks will quack!

I came across a wishing well
and had a coin to spare.
I closed my eyes and made a wish
then tossed it in the air.

I asked for my own wishing well.
(The smartest wish to make!)
I felt my craving coming true:
the ground began to shake.

I ran back home to my bedroom,
but where was my own well?
It had to be here somewhere
since I used a magic spell.

I search until the sun had set.
There’s nowhere it could hide.
Then I saw that my sink was full
with one cent by its side.

I’m glad I got another wish,
but I had wanted more.
So I’ll ask for magic lamps
with real genies galore!

Your eyes stay above your nose,
but mine can move quite far.
Today my eyes are in my ears,
which you may find bizarre.

My eyes are never painful
when they stay close to my head.
But today I can’t hear you:
I see your words instead!

Each fall I like to gather
all my neighbor’s leaves.
I get them from their gutters,
their driveways and their eaves.

We put them in a pile
that fills my whole backyard,
Then swim in the big heap.
My mom’s the leaf life guard.

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Check out my book My Sister Steals My Toys. It contains 109 other funny poems I wrote.

The post Short Kids Poem: Leaf Life Guard first appeared on Glow Word Books.]]> https://www.glowwordbooks.com/blog/2014/10/21/short-kids-poem-about-autumn/ Tue, 21 Oct 2014 11:00:41 +0000 http://www.glowwordbooks.com/?p=3331 Autumn is a busy time because I must undo all of nature’s changes to keep that summer hue. First I paint our grass deep green Then glue on all the leaves. It is a cold and thankless job while wearing … Continue reading →

The post Short Kids Poem about Autumn first appeared on Glow Word Books.]]>

Autumn is a busy time
because I must undo
all of nature’s changes
to keep that summer hue.

First I paint our grass deep green
Then glue on all the leaves.
It is a cold and thankless job
while wearing short shirt sleeves.

Last I swap our garden to the
only thing that grows:
tiny little plastic shrubs
I plant in perfect rows.

Enjoy this poem?

Check out my book My Sister Steals My Toys. It contains 109 other funny poems I wrote.

The post Short Kids Poem about Autumn first appeared on Glow Word Books.]]> https://www.glowwordbooks.com/blog/2014/10/14/short-kids-poem-horses/ https://www.glowwordbooks.com/blog/2014/10/14/short-kids-poem-horses/#comments Tue, 14 Oct 2014 11:00:37 +0000 http://www.glowwordbooks.com/?p=3328 My horse is really smart. There’s so much he can do. He knows how to chop carrots and cook them in a stew. My horse can make my bed and dust shelves with his tail. And when he paints the … Continue reading →

The post Short Kids Poem: Horses first appeared on Glow Word Books.]]>

My horse is really smart.
There’s so much he can do.
He knows how to chop carrots
and cook them in a stew.

My horse can make my bed
and dust shelves with his tail.
And when he paints the hall,
he masters each detail.

I want to keep him inside—
there’s so much to be gained
except for one small detail:
he isn’t potty trained!

Enjoy this poem?

Check out my book My Sister Steals My Toys. It contains 109 other funny poems I wrote.

The post Short Kids Poem: Horses first appeared on Glow Word Books.]]> https://www.glowwordbooks.com/blog/2014/10/14/short-kids-poem-horses/feed/ 3 https://www.glowwordbooks.com/blog/2014/10/07/short-kids-poem-exams/ Tue, 07 Oct 2014 11:00:23 +0000 http://www.glowwordbooks.com/?p=3302 Today we got the first pop quiz I could actually do! Usually when we take a test I haven’t got a clue. The first question was easy: Find a booger in your nose. Then wipe it on the paper instead … Continue reading →

The post Short Kids Poem: Exams first appeared on Glow Word Books.]]>
Today we got the first pop quiz
I could actually do!
Usually when we take a test
I haven’t got a clue.

The first question was easy:
Find a booger in your nose.
Then wipe it on the paper
instead of on your clothes.

I had to list ten chocolate bars
and nine video games.
Then I had to come up
with a dozen crazy claims.

Enjoy this poem?

Check out my book My Sister Steals My Toys. It contains 109 other funny poems I wrote.

The post Short Kids Poem: Exams first appeared on Glow Word Books.]]> https://www.glowwordbooks.com/blog/2014/09/16/kids-poem-video-games/ Tue, 16 Sep 2014 11:00:49 +0000 http://www.glowwordbooks.com/?p=3288 I wish there was a video game that let me clean me room with shiny mops and old dust pans and dreary, deathly doom. I want explosive mess-be-gones, robotic cleaning whales. They all know how to save the Earth and … Continue reading →

The post Short Kids Poem: Video Games first appeared on Glow Word Books.]]>

I wish there was a video game
that let me clean me room
with shiny mops and old dust pans
and dreary, deathly doom.

I want explosive mess-be-gones,
robotic cleaning whales.
They all know how to save the Earth
and vacuum with their tales.

But since there aren’t aliens
who’ve learned to make my bed
I guess I’ll have to just sit here
and play my games instead!

Enjoy this poem?

Check out my book My Sister Steals My Toys. It contains 109 other funny poems I wrote.

The post Short Kids Poem: Video Games first appeared on Glow Word Books.]]>