Today we got the first pop quiz
I could actually do!
Usually when we take a test
I haven’t got a clue.
The first question was easy:
Find a booger in your nose.
Then wipe it on the paper
instead of on your clothes.
I had to list ten chocolate bars
and nine video games.
Then I had to come up
with a dozen crazy claims.
My window’s by the window
of my brother Ray
so I change the weather
that he sees all day.
A massive pail of water
can make a gentle rain.
I switch on my hair dryer
to get a hurricane.
It’s easy to do hail:
it’s just a tray of ice
and if there’s passing weddings
I throw a little rice.
You may have a stable
with two unicorns,
but I have a donkey
with a dozen horns.
The first one casts a rainbow
straight into the sky.
The next one provides lift
that lets my donkey fly.
Three play like a flute
and one’s invisible.
Another is a gauge
to tell him when he’s full.
The gold one’s decorative.
The silver one’s a straw.
One horn can hold paper
while others learn to draw.
One horn lets him breath
while swimming in the sea.
The last two always fight.
Why can’t those horns agree!
I shared a bowl of popcorn
with a kangaroo
and bought a pet koala
at the Sydney Zoo.
It turns out my Koala’s
an expert singing Strauss
so we sang together
at the Opera House.
After our big show
we met a cockatoo
who drove us to the beach
for a bar-be-que.
The bar-be-que was fun
but we had to keep it brief:
tomorrow we are going
to snorkel the great reef!
Should I be a princess
for our school book day?
Or the wicked witch?
A thief from a play?
I could be a werewolf
or a shy mermaid.
Or maybe even
a night from the crusade.
I wore a furry suit
with flippers, wand and shall.
I simply couldn’t choose…
so I dressed as them all.
Our school bus has a hot tub.
It’s a great way to relax.
The kids all wear their swimsuits
and share their homemade snacks.
I like I can unwind
from the stressfulness of math
and then before my bedtime
I get to skip my bath!
We all think that it’s fun
when the driver slams his breaks
because the floor gets filled
with tiny, little lakes.
Abraham Lincoln was a fine man, but nothing compared to my cat.
It’s true that he was a smart president, and looked really good in that hat,
But he can’t meow or play with a string, and I doubt he could catch a rat.
I’m sure you think your family
is totally bizarre,
but mine is so much stranger
than all of yours by far!
My grandma raises poodles
on the hills of Tuscany
and trains them to be waiters
for the cruise ships out at sea.
My uncle dyes his hair
to look like a snake’s skin,
then hisses like a cobra
as he hides behind a bin.
My aunt seems really shy.
She’s thoughtful and polite —
except she quacks like ducks
whenever there’s no light.
They almost can act normal
if you see them one by one
— but get them all together
and your Christmas is real fun!
Authors Steve & Natasha